Saturday, March 4, 2017

March 4, 2017

Last night when I arrived home from work Nick's daughter was here. I don't like surprises. Especially after the one I was still reeling from. I just wanted to get bundled up in some warm clothes and go to bed. But they usually stay up and watch movies and the living room is directly below the master bedroom. Nick doesn't hear well so the volume is always too high when he watches TV or listens to music. Sometimes I can't sit there comfortably and watch something with him because I find it way too loud. And then he will try to have a conversation on top of it all.
The weekend she was here for the cat pictures - was that just last weekend? - they kept me up for at least an hour each night and I was the only one who had to go to work. I also have a bad taste in my mouth for this behavior. When I would stay at Nick's before we moved to the farm, his daughter and her previous boyfriend would stay over quite often and their room was next to ours. This next part is going to sound really wacky, but the master bedroom in Nick's previous house had a large walk-in closet which was big enough to fit a single mattress on the floor. And this is where I would go to sleep when Nick woke me up with his snoring or when the traffic was keeping me awake as the house was on a busy street which happened to be extra wide and the cars would usually do over the speed limit as a result. There also happened to be a French language school at the end of the street where all French language students from all over the city were bussed as well as two daycares, one French and one English. It was so heavenly quiet in the closet and I loved sinking into the cool sheets. I was losing the battle with night sweats and hot flashes during that year or two and the change of location was the perfect sleeping potion for me. But the closet was right beside the other bedroom and the sounds of the kids' voices mixed with the voices and sounds from whatever movie they were watching seemed to be amplified as it passed through the thin walls and reverberated in the closet as it would in a hallway. I would experience such anxiety every evening when I tucked in for the night that I got into the habit of bringing a glass of white wine to bed with me and I would chug a mouthful or two to calm myself down when I started to feel myself getting stressed about being kept awake.

My point is I was less than pleased when I pulled into the driveway and realized she was here for the night. And by the time I had come through the door into the kitchen I knew I was not going to be able to contain my anger as I had for the previous several days.
I asked Nick immediately if he had looked at the marriage agreement I had handwritten the day before and asked him to sign. He turned and glared at me for mentioning this in front of his daughter. But that was why I had mentioned it, because she was there. Then I asked him in a louder voice and I let more than a little frustration ooze out over the words. He said something about leaving his daughter out of it and that the matter was between him and I, to which I replied that by stealing the $31,000.00 from me behind my back had changed the game completely and I wasn't going to keep my mouth shut and take his verbal, emotional or financial abuse any longer. There was a huge shouting match during which many ugly things were said by all three of us, but I can honestly say that every single word I said was the truth. I didn't have to exaggerate or expand on any of it in any way. At one point Nick said to his daughter that we never yell like this at each other. and I said 'yes, that's correct - he usually just yells at me and I usually just sit and take it.' Nick was in a complete and total rage by the end of it and his daughter really lost her cool. I was amazed that I felt very calm and very pleased and relieved that I had finally chosen to speak my mind and unload a lot of the crap he had been burying me under for the past two years or so.
She threatened more than once to get me and kept inviting me to hit her so she could 'take me out'. I don't think those were her exact words - there was so much yelling going on it was hard to catch any complete sentences. But the message was very clear. I am very pleased that I have it all recorded and securely stashed away. I intend to go to the RCMP station and file a report. I hope I get to play the audio for someone while I am there.
I was mean enough to tell her I wanted back the Honda she had been driving. I owned the car and I was paying the insurance and registration on it which all of a sudden seemed ridiculously generous of me in light of how her father had been treating me and how he had sealed the deal by essentially re-mortgaging the farm to withdraw every penny of equity we had paid down over the 4 years in order to pay his visa off. And there were no signs of him slowing any of his spending down. I have been eating peanut on whole wheat bread as sandwiches for nearly every meal while he feasts on his regular assortment of protein powders, creatinine, amino acids and the like.
My daughter's car had broken down about 4 or 5 months ago and Nick had managed to get it towed to his ex-wife's driveway so it could stay in the city where it will be repaired rather that dragging it out here. I mean, it wasn't hurting her any to have the car there. And then in the middle of one of the prolonged snowstorms we had a few weeks back she called Nick and told him that she moved the car so it was now parked along the street and the city was preparing to tow it away as it was not allowed to be parked on the street during a storm or during the hours following a storm to allow the plows to do their job of clearing the snow. Another tow truck had to be summoned and this time the car was moved to a lot belonging to a friend of Nick's. It was easy for me, all I had to do was give my visa number.

I stayed up quite late last night and went through all the paperwork we have in the house, as almost all of it is stored in the master bedroom. I just thought it would be prudent to gather up any documents that may be of any value or that would just be nice to have in a safe place. I got up and left for work before they were up and tonight when I came home the Honda was in the yard, but no daughter. Nick was out in the barn and came in just as I was dressing to go out to help. So he stayed in and I went out, mostly because he never seems to feed the chickens or the ducks and I feel the calves are loosing weight and are never given enough to eat. I am glad I did go out. The ducks had some feed but the hens had not a speck of food. I just hit the water dishes on the ground to break up the ice a bit so there was some water available to drink, though it will all be frozen solid in an hour or so anyway. I gave the calves some more hay and I also gathered up the loose hay that falls all over the floors and that Nick never bothers with. He just leaves it there to get walked over and soiled by spilled water and manure. I usually rake it up and then toss it into the stall that is the closest so each horse gets another couple of mouthfuls of hay. I also filled up the dish for cat food for the barn cat. I bought a huge bag of inexpensive stuff at the feed store but Nick is stingy with it because a neighbour's cat also eats from the same bowl and he doesn't like the cat or the woman it belongs to.