Thursday, March 9, 2017

March 9, 2017

I am getting exhausted already with this latest turmoil. But I made a visit to the local RCMP station this afternoon to ask a few questions and let them know what is going on out here and get some advice on what I should or should not do. I hate finding out after all is said and done that I 'should have done this' and 'if only I had done that'. I had a good chat with the officer there and in the course of our discussion he told me he had listened to Nick's audio tapes in which Nick alleges I am having sex in our bedroom with this Chris person, or certainly with someone other than my husband; and in another tape he says I am greeting Chris at the door of our home and proceeding to engage in oral sex with him in the hallway where the voice recorder was hidden. The first tape was supposedly recorded while Nick was away for work and the second one on the Monday after Christmas 2015 when Nick was gone for the day and I was home alone. Actually I was expecting my daughter to visit that day but she decided to stay at her sister's for the night instead, which I did not know at the time the recording was made. The officer also told me he heard no other voices on the tapes except for mine and he did not hear any of the activities Nick alleges took place. I was extremely relieved to have him reveal this to me. Although it is perfectly clear to me what I hear on the audio recordings I was never absolutely sure what conclusion someone else would arrive at about what they were hearing. And I have only listened to the 'hallway tape' and although I have asked many times to be allowed to hear the bedroom tape and Nick has promised many times to play it for me (as well as for my mother and daughters) I have never heard it. The officer said he had listened to approximately 40 hours of tapes in total and in none of them did he hear what Nick said he did.

I spoke to my mother last night on my way home from work. I stayed late in order to deal with a couple of things that popped up during the day and that I wasn't able to begin to resolve until almost closing time. And which couldn't be completely resolved until today when I would be off and which the person who works the opposite shifts from me would be there and thus obligated to handle.
I hadn't yet shared the news about the $31,000.00 Nick withdrew from the credit made available by the pay down on the mortgage and of course it upset her. She told me to contact the ombudsman who helped consumers with banking matters - I am not clear on if there is one for all the financial institutions or one specifically for the TD bank but this ombudsman got results on her behalf with an identity mix-up a few years back which she had been unable to straighten out despite months of trying on her own. I have called the TD branch where we deal three times and left messages asking to speak to or meet with the manager and the last time I called I received a return call from the 'manager who usually deals with customer escalations'. He answered my questions and addressed most of my immediate concerns on the phone but I still want to meet with a manager in person. I thought I might be able to do this today but was too busy yesterday at work to schedule such a meeting and I realized this morning I could not expect to see anyone today and decided to wait until I could call and arrange it ahead of time. And to be honest I couldn't face driving all the way in there today.

We needed 'sweet feed' for the calves - which is called 'sweet feed' when you buy it for horses but 'beef builder' when you buy it for cattle and it is essentially the same thing. It is a feed with extra protein mixed up with some molasses to give it a sweet taste and the energy boost that any form of sugar will give an animal the same as it does humans. It is a nice treat for the livestock and it kicks up their metabolism a notch which helps to keep them a little warmer during the winter. The feed store where I normally pick up the feed for the livestock had only one bag left when I was there earlier in the week and so I decided to stop by the RCMP on my way to a feed store which is actually closer to the farm but is in the opposite direction from my work. I managed to get something accomplished even though I hadn't done what I intended to get done today.

I got up to help in the barn before I hopped in the shower and I asked Nick about the marriage agreement as we were downstairs getting ready to go out. He avoided the topic and I refused to let it drop and finally he said he would review it and discuss it with me on Monday. I hope we can come to some kind of statement of what is mine to take from the marriage which of course is really just about everything because I paid for virtually everything. He was to contribute sweat equity and know-how for projects and improvements which never did materialize. The only sweat equity put into the farm was mine - I white-washed the fences at the front of the property and around the riding arena and I pressure-washed the deck this summer. He did put up the addition on the barn but he has never finished it. It needs stall doors and floors and a water-tight roof at the very minimum. It's extremely annoying because he does know how to do all of these things but he lacks any motivation to start any of the dozens of little jobs that need doing around here.

Whenever I ask him about fixing this or that, or about when he plans finish something he always has an excuse which ultimately comes back to the Chris person. Either the Chris person has taken the tools he needs to do the work or Nick says he isn't willing to make improvements around here that are only going to benefit me and my boyfriend. He also always claims that me and this boyfriend are continuously contriving to get Nick to abandon the farm so the boyfriend can move right in and take Nick's place. I wish somehow someone would walk out of Nick's bedroom instead of Nick and help me turn this farm into the homestead and country paradise I have imagined it could be since the day I first laid eyes on it.