Monday, July 31/2017
I am sitting outside on the back verandah after an absolutely perfect summer day. At the moment the sun is just about to dip below the trees and the hummingbirds are out and about for their evening snack. They zoom around and sound like huge bumble bees. The sound always reminds me of the movie 'Jumanji'.
I managed to tidy the yard a bit by dragging some of the discarded wood and boards and broken fence pieces and I piled them in back of the barn. I don't know why that stuff has to be tossed in the front yard anyway. Just easier I guess. Nick set the small pile I had gathered on fire after much discussion about where the fire should be located and what should be burned. All after I had it piled in a different place of course.
The night before last I had a an awful experience. I had been asleep for an hour or so when I heard one of the dogs bark like she needed to go outside in a hurry. So I got up to let her out and I noticed that Nick didn't seem to be inside the house. He wasn't in his bedroom or the computer room and I began to wonder where he had gone and what was going on. Did he plan to set the house on fire? Or was it planned that someone would break into the house and I would be murdered as part of a botched robbery? I was immediately wide awake and my brain was considering my options. As I had planned before I put a T-shirt on and a pair of shorts as well as my shoes and I shoved my computer and chargers into the carrying case and grabbed my cell phone. I put my car keys into my pocket and picked up my purse as well. I went down the back staircase and as I switched on the outside light the power went out. I instinctively knew it was because the dehumidifier must be on the same circuit as the light and the breaker in the fuse box must have switched the power off but at the same time I became extremely spooked. I checked that the door was locked and then went around the house locking all the doors and turning all the outside lights on. Would you believe that there are nine doors? Four bedrooms and the living room have sliding doors out onto decks and then there is the front door, the back door, the side door and the basement door. Great in case of a fire I guess.
With my surroundings now about as secure as I was going to make them, I began to wonder what I was going to do next. I had to find a way to get some sleep. I had to work the next day. I knew there was no way I could relax enough to get any sleep inside the house. I thought I might have to take a pillow and a blanket and drive the car somewhere close yet safe and public and spend the rest of the night in the car.
I had just decided this was what I was going to do and Nick started banging on the back door. I let him in and he commented that all the outside lights were on. I told him about the power being off to the back of the house and he went into the garage and threw the breaker. He brushed his teeth and went to bed so I figured it was safe for me to do the same. Go to bed that is. By this time it was about 1:30am.
When I got up in the morning and hopped in the shower there was no hot water. I wondered if this might be because the power had gone out but I was pretty sure I was right about the circuit being overloaded by the dehumidifier and the lights. Maybe Nick was trying to make things so uncomfortable for me that I would decide to go and stay at my sister's place again. The shower was not hot but not all that cold and I didn't say anything about it when I came downstairs. I wanted to see if and how Nick might mention it to me. He actually asked me how long of shower I had taken and I replied 'not very long'. So then he asked if I had had any hot water and I said no. As it turned out the thermostat on the hot water tank needed to be replaced. I still don't know where Nick went the night before or why he left the house when it was so late. Thinking about it now, maybe he went outside to make a phone call.
Nick put his cell phone out in plain view today and left it unlocked on purpose hoping I would pick it up and start looking through it. So he could catch me at it I suppose. He put his phone on top of a plastic cup with the charger attached to it. I took a picture and I must remember to come back and include it here. I tried to transfer my photos from my phone to my computer yesterday but something wasn't working properly. I am very frustrated by how difficult it is to do that simple task.
Of course I didn't touch his phone. And I noticed afterwards that he had also set his car keys on the counter beside his phone. How ridiculous of him to think I wouldn't know he had this on purpose. He does somehow know that I tried to access his phone the other night - he told me his phone records if this happens - but I wonder why he didn't mention this to me on other occasions because I have done this a number of times before. I wonder if he knows that I was able to get into his phone the other day when we were hanging the mirror.
And what is he planning to do if he catches me in his phone or in his car? What am I supposed to be trying to find out? And why would I really care if he is seeing someone else? I guess he wants me to be jealous and show in some way that it upsets me or that I care about there being another woman. Of course it actually is to my advantage that he is in a relationship. I am hoping that this woman's motivation in hooking up with Nick is to get married and come to Canada.
As far as he has ever admitted to me he was in Frankfurt on business. But I can't spend too much time or effort wondering about what his motives are or what he is thinking. I have to remind myself that his mind is not a logical one and that it is full of suspicion and paranoia and guilt as well as delusion.
Monday 31 July 2017
Saturday 29 July 2017
Saturday, July 29, 2017
Saturday, July 29, 2017
I worked today and then I cut the grass when I got home. Nice summer day, it was super to be able to be outside until 8:30 or so. My raspberry bushes that I planted two years ago are loaded with berries and this is making me happy! I am sad to have to leave them behind when the farm sells and I
move away but I will plant more at my next home. Same with everything else that is growing and blooming in my gardens at the moment - I have taken pieces of just about everything I have here and have made transplants for my sister's and my daughter's properties. Some of the hostas that my sister has came from my father's garden. My mom gave them to her after my dad died and mom sold the family home and I am glad to have been able to take pieces from those from my sister and started them here. I have given several to friends as well.
When I came into the kitchen after arriving home from work I noticed that Nick had been shopping and there was a bag on the chair with several little scribblers in it, the kind he uses to practice his Ukrainian. There was also 4 or 5 toothbrushes in the bag as well. This still makes me laugh as I type about it. Who needs to buy that many toothbrushes at once when it's not Christmas?
Then I noticed that his wallet was sitting in plain view on top of the safe beside the chair. My first thought was to pick it up and go through it but then I remembered he had accused me before I left for work this morning of trying to unlock his phone last night. Which I did do but I lied and told him I hadn't. He said his phone notifies him when someone tries to do this and I don't know whether to believe him or not. Maybe it does or maybe he thinks he saw me on camera or heard me on video. His stupid phone makes those media sounds for everything. I know for sure I am not going to try it again. I will just check to make sure it is locked and if it is I will leave it alone. Maybe I will get lucky again and find it unlocked like I did the other day.
So I didn't pick up his wallet. I washed out my lunch containers and noticed his phone sitting on the counter which I knew better than to touch, but the set of keys he carries in his pocket all the time was sitting on the counter as well, right beside his phone in plain view. He should have written a little note saying 'pick me up and open the locked cupboard or the computer room'. I am actually surprised how stupid he must think I am. If he had just left the keys out I might have thought he had done it by mistake and he might have been able to catch me snooping into his cupboard. And really, what's wrong with that? Why does he feel he has to lock a cupboard in the kitchen? Well I know it is to prevent Salter from stealing from him, but so what if I find out what is in there? There is something so distorted with his logic.
I was thinking yesterday about the text message from his daughter talking about going to the gun range and I remembered that he had this big pistol out the other day and he was oiling it or whatever you do to those things. He was spinning the barrel (I think that's what it is called), the place where you put the bullets and then putting some more lube stuff on and spinning it again. He was doing this in a rather sinister fashion and he made completely sure to put it right in front of me so I could not miss or mistake what he was doing. He cracked the barrel open several times and then spun it and repeated this while he followed me around. We were having a conversation about something but I don't remember what it was about because the gun made such an impression on me. It was like I was in a movie and he was going to suddenly put it to my head and ask me if I was feeling lucky.
He has been yelling about Salter more lately than he had been and he has been swearing in frustration or whatever as he reads text messages and/or emails. I even made a comment about it this evening because he was sitting at the computer, reading emails I think and he started to chuckle as if he was finding something amusing and then he immediately spewed a long list of swear words - his usual compilation. I have to wonder what this is all about. He told me the other day that he is definitely going to 'get' Salter even if he has to go to jail for it. The only reason he would say this to me is to intimidate me and hope to frighten me, maybe into leaving and going to stay with my sister again. He must know that there is no person named Salter and he must know he is making this all up. I have asked Nick many, many, many times why he is making these stories up and he insists that he isn't and is adamant I am the liar. And I have also said to him that he must know that I know he is making this stuff up because I really do know the truth. It's not like he can put any doubt into my mind that I might be actually really having a affair with a guy named Salter. Of course I would know if I was or if I wasn't. It's almost like telling me there is a monster in the closet. We both know it isn't so. But I really have to wonder if he is able to distinguish what is real from what he is trying to tell himself is real. Maybe he is telling himself things to protect himself from the truth about what is really going on. He knows he is squandering large amounts of money that he can't afford to spend on steroids or supplements to stay young but he can't stop his addiction to this so he fabricates a story to deflect the blame away from himself to relieve his guilt about not being strong enough to resist his compulsion or gain control over his behavior. It almost makes sense.
He knows that is totally illogical for him to casually discard this life that I have provided for him - the dream existence of living on this beautiful property with the horses and raising our own food while enjoying the true wonders of nature and living so close to it all - from the hummingbirds who return each May to nest right outside the back door to the garter snakes that live in the rock garden and the deer who show off their fawns on September evenings. So he has created a scenario that totally makes him the victim, that I am having a romantic relationship with someone who is stealing things which is causing Nick to spend money to replace which absolves him of any wrong doing in regards to his own infidelity and his lack of financial responsibility.
Everything that is wrong with anything on the farm is always directly Salter's fault. It took me awhile to realize that everything is connected to this. I was puzzled for a long time about why Nick kept saying that Salter had been seen by our neighbour removing and raking sand in our riding arena. This totally made absolutely no sense to me. What a ridiculous thing for anyone to do! Then I realized that Nick knew that keeping our stallion up there instead of putting electric fencing in place around a section of our pasture was ruining the integrity of the layers of sand etc of the arena which were specifically created to give good footing and good drainage. The horse would pace back and forth over the same length of fence thus packing this down and forcing the top layer of sand to displace. Which I guess would give the same effect as if someone had taken the sand away. So of course, it is not Nick's fault that the thousands of dollars spent by the previous owners to construct a quality riding arena have been wasted - not by him being too lazy to create a suitable enclosure for the stallion - oh no, it was Salter's fault because he stole the sand. And my fault by association, if not more directly by giving permission. This is just one example of many things that have been ruined by neglect or carelessness.
It is also how Nick avoids responsibility for not picking up his tools after he uses them. If he can't find them, then of course, they were stolen. He avoids the guilt and the label of lazy from not performing routine maintenance by claiming that he doesn't have the tools necessary to do the job. Nothing is his fault. He takes no responsibility whatsoever for anything. There is always someone else to blame. What a huge amount of guilt he must be carrying around that he has to do this to avoid having to accept any more. I have to wonder what this burden is and where it might have come from.
I worked today and then I cut the grass when I got home. Nice summer day, it was super to be able to be outside until 8:30 or so. My raspberry bushes that I planted two years ago are loaded with berries and this is making me happy! I am sad to have to leave them behind when the farm sells and I
move away but I will plant more at my next home. Same with everything else that is growing and blooming in my gardens at the moment - I have taken pieces of just about everything I have here and have made transplants for my sister's and my daughter's properties. Some of the hostas that my sister has came from my father's garden. My mom gave them to her after my dad died and mom sold the family home and I am glad to have been able to take pieces from those from my sister and started them here. I have given several to friends as well.
When I came into the kitchen after arriving home from work I noticed that Nick had been shopping and there was a bag on the chair with several little scribblers in it, the kind he uses to practice his Ukrainian. There was also 4 or 5 toothbrushes in the bag as well. This still makes me laugh as I type about it. Who needs to buy that many toothbrushes at once when it's not Christmas?
Then I noticed that his wallet was sitting in plain view on top of the safe beside the chair. My first thought was to pick it up and go through it but then I remembered he had accused me before I left for work this morning of trying to unlock his phone last night. Which I did do but I lied and told him I hadn't. He said his phone notifies him when someone tries to do this and I don't know whether to believe him or not. Maybe it does or maybe he thinks he saw me on camera or heard me on video. His stupid phone makes those media sounds for everything. I know for sure I am not going to try it again. I will just check to make sure it is locked and if it is I will leave it alone. Maybe I will get lucky again and find it unlocked like I did the other day.
So I didn't pick up his wallet. I washed out my lunch containers and noticed his phone sitting on the counter which I knew better than to touch, but the set of keys he carries in his pocket all the time was sitting on the counter as well, right beside his phone in plain view. He should have written a little note saying 'pick me up and open the locked cupboard or the computer room'. I am actually surprised how stupid he must think I am. If he had just left the keys out I might have thought he had done it by mistake and he might have been able to catch me snooping into his cupboard. And really, what's wrong with that? Why does he feel he has to lock a cupboard in the kitchen? Well I know it is to prevent Salter from stealing from him, but so what if I find out what is in there? There is something so distorted with his logic.
I was thinking yesterday about the text message from his daughter talking about going to the gun range and I remembered that he had this big pistol out the other day and he was oiling it or whatever you do to those things. He was spinning the barrel (I think that's what it is called), the place where you put the bullets and then putting some more lube stuff on and spinning it again. He was doing this in a rather sinister fashion and he made completely sure to put it right in front of me so I could not miss or mistake what he was doing. He cracked the barrel open several times and then spun it and repeated this while he followed me around. We were having a conversation about something but I don't remember what it was about because the gun made such an impression on me. It was like I was in a movie and he was going to suddenly put it to my head and ask me if I was feeling lucky.
He has been yelling about Salter more lately than he had been and he has been swearing in frustration or whatever as he reads text messages and/or emails. I even made a comment about it this evening because he was sitting at the computer, reading emails I think and he started to chuckle as if he was finding something amusing and then he immediately spewed a long list of swear words - his usual compilation. I have to wonder what this is all about. He told me the other day that he is definitely going to 'get' Salter even if he has to go to jail for it. The only reason he would say this to me is to intimidate me and hope to frighten me, maybe into leaving and going to stay with my sister again. He must know that there is no person named Salter and he must know he is making this all up. I have asked Nick many, many, many times why he is making these stories up and he insists that he isn't and is adamant I am the liar. And I have also said to him that he must know that I know he is making this stuff up because I really do know the truth. It's not like he can put any doubt into my mind that I might be actually really having a affair with a guy named Salter. Of course I would know if I was or if I wasn't. It's almost like telling me there is a monster in the closet. We both know it isn't so. But I really have to wonder if he is able to distinguish what is real from what he is trying to tell himself is real. Maybe he is telling himself things to protect himself from the truth about what is really going on. He knows he is squandering large amounts of money that he can't afford to spend on steroids or supplements to stay young but he can't stop his addiction to this so he fabricates a story to deflect the blame away from himself to relieve his guilt about not being strong enough to resist his compulsion or gain control over his behavior. It almost makes sense.
He knows that is totally illogical for him to casually discard this life that I have provided for him - the dream existence of living on this beautiful property with the horses and raising our own food while enjoying the true wonders of nature and living so close to it all - from the hummingbirds who return each May to nest right outside the back door to the garter snakes that live in the rock garden and the deer who show off their fawns on September evenings. So he has created a scenario that totally makes him the victim, that I am having a romantic relationship with someone who is stealing things which is causing Nick to spend money to replace which absolves him of any wrong doing in regards to his own infidelity and his lack of financial responsibility.
Everything that is wrong with anything on the farm is always directly Salter's fault. It took me awhile to realize that everything is connected to this. I was puzzled for a long time about why Nick kept saying that Salter had been seen by our neighbour removing and raking sand in our riding arena. This totally made absolutely no sense to me. What a ridiculous thing for anyone to do! Then I realized that Nick knew that keeping our stallion up there instead of putting electric fencing in place around a section of our pasture was ruining the integrity of the layers of sand etc of the arena which were specifically created to give good footing and good drainage. The horse would pace back and forth over the same length of fence thus packing this down and forcing the top layer of sand to displace. Which I guess would give the same effect as if someone had taken the sand away. So of course, it is not Nick's fault that the thousands of dollars spent by the previous owners to construct a quality riding arena have been wasted - not by him being too lazy to create a suitable enclosure for the stallion - oh no, it was Salter's fault because he stole the sand. And my fault by association, if not more directly by giving permission. This is just one example of many things that have been ruined by neglect or carelessness.
It is also how Nick avoids responsibility for not picking up his tools after he uses them. If he can't find them, then of course, they were stolen. He avoids the guilt and the label of lazy from not performing routine maintenance by claiming that he doesn't have the tools necessary to do the job. Nothing is his fault. He takes no responsibility whatsoever for anything. There is always someone else to blame. What a huge amount of guilt he must be carrying around that he has to do this to avoid having to accept any more. I have to wonder what this burden is and where it might have come from.
Thursday 27 July 2017
Thursday, July 27, 2017
Thursday, July 27, 2017
I was off today and I was happy to sleep in a bit. Nick has been raging around the house at night as usual and doing his door slamming in the wee hours. He also got up early the day before yesterday and did the noisy husband stuff at 5am. I get a feeling like I have just been kicked in the stomach every time I hear the angry bangs. I always lie quietly in the dark and wonder how mad he is going to get. Then I remember he is not psychologically sound and I start to plan my escape in case he decides to direct his anger at me physically. I usually get up and put some sweatpants and a T-shirt on and position my shoes so I can slip them on in a hurry. I picture myself jumping out of bed into my shoes, grabbing my cell phone and purse and keys and going down the stairs at the back of the house to the family room and sneaking out the deck door from the family room that leads to the woods at the side of the property. There is sufficient cover either in the front or the back so I can make my way to my car from two directions or hide and wait for awhile. I can also make my way to the neighbours through the woods or to the highway to the other three homes across the road. I always get stuck when I try to imagine how I can manage to get my dog to come with me and not slow me down or give me away. I guess I will have to just let that part take care of itself. It's probably better if he stays behind.
Nick still hasn't filled out the Property Disclosure Statement required by the real estate people. The agent said she had had an inquiry on the property and they had asked to see that. I asked Nick several times today if we could sit down and fill it out but he always gave an excuse and he is now locked in the computer room listening to his XFactor re-runs. He listens to the same one or two over and over again. I mean, the girl can sing, but I get tired of hearing the judges same the same things over and over, even if they are speaking in Ukrainian.
At least he finished putting the stuff back in the garage today. The yard is finally not full of tools, tarps and boxes full of assorted junk. I don't think he put the tires back in the garage though. Maybe I am supposed to take those to my storage locker. I think I will put them back in the garage instead.
The dumpster bin is now officially full. There is some room to toss a few things on the top but other than that I did a very good job of filling it up. I was helping Nick put one of the old TVs outside and he was pulling it by the cord to drag it down the outside steps and as I reached down to lift it up so it wouldn't get stuck, it flipped clear of the step and onto my foot. The same foot that hurt so much the first of last week. I put a large bandaid on it and put on those sneakers of my daughters that are two sizes too big for me. There is going to be a good bruise there but nothing more serious than that.
I cleaned up the ensuite bathroom today as Nick did finish the wallpapering he started on Saturday. Of course he had left everything he used sitting either on the bed or on the floor and all the wallpaper cuttings and chunks of drywall from where he had filled in the holes behind the mirror and toilet paper holder were all over the floor, the toilet, the sink and the shower. Not to mention tracked out into the bedroom and from there into the hallway. I vacuumed each time he would hang a strip or two but he managed to spread the job out over a five-day period.
I went to the computer room this afternoon to ask Nick if he would hang the bathroom mirror for me so I could take a picture of the room to send to the real estate agent and I forget now why we went into the kitchen together, but I noticed his phone sitting on the table - unlocked! I have picked it up multiple times and tried to guess his passcode but of course I am never able to get into it. He needed me upstairs several times to hold the mirror and to help him measure but I managed to look around at his messages for 3 or 4 minutes. I was terrified he would catch me.
I think he is still communicating with the same woman he visited in Frankfurt in May. I know her name is Olesya but if they are the same person, it translates to Olga. That is how Nick refers to her in his messages to other people. He was texting a guy from his former office and they were discussing how young this Olga looks. I hate to say it but she does look very young for her stated age. Nick was also texting this Dave guy I have heard him on the phone with and I think this Dave guy is dating a Ukrainian woman as well and he is helping Nick with the translations somehow. Dave and Nick also discuss the price of some sort of birth product - I am assuming it is placental tissue or something similar - and the price they discuss is $2000.00. I have wondered for years what Nick is squandering all his money (and mine) on, and I do know he takes anabolic steroids and he must be buying some of this other stuff as well. He purchases a lot of supplements, but not nearly enough to add up to the amounts he is spending. I paid his Visa off for him in January 2014 from the proceeds of my house and it was $15,000, and then in October of 2016 he took the $31,000 from our mortgage and put that on his Visa. I guess that is about $1000 a month because it took him 2+1/2 years to run it up to $31,000 which is about 33 months. I suppose, honestly, it wouldn't take much to overspend by that amount each month.
I saw a text from Nick to his daughter asking her to send $50 to Olga because 'she is going to help get a resident card for me'. There is some reason Nick doesn't want the $50 easily traced back to him. Maybe it's simply because I found the Western Union receipt showing he had sent money to her before and he knows that will come up if the divorce ever goes all the way to court, but I have to wonder if he doesn't want it discovered by anyone else that he is planning to move there. And I don't mean me. Maybe he doesn't want to be found after he leaves. His daughter will know where he is, I know that now too. I wish I had thought to get Olga's number from Nick's phone when I had the chance.
The last thing I saw on Nick's phone was a text from his daughter that said 'if you're not busy next week we should go to the gun range lol'. I heard Nick talking on the phone to her yesterday and I know she is having relationship troubles with her live-in boyfriend. When I first read the text I thought it was a joke that they both could pretend to shoot at me, but on further consideration, I think maybe she meant her father could aim at me and she could aim at her boyfriend.
I was off today and I was happy to sleep in a bit. Nick has been raging around the house at night as usual and doing his door slamming in the wee hours. He also got up early the day before yesterday and did the noisy husband stuff at 5am. I get a feeling like I have just been kicked in the stomach every time I hear the angry bangs. I always lie quietly in the dark and wonder how mad he is going to get. Then I remember he is not psychologically sound and I start to plan my escape in case he decides to direct his anger at me physically. I usually get up and put some sweatpants and a T-shirt on and position my shoes so I can slip them on in a hurry. I picture myself jumping out of bed into my shoes, grabbing my cell phone and purse and keys and going down the stairs at the back of the house to the family room and sneaking out the deck door from the family room that leads to the woods at the side of the property. There is sufficient cover either in the front or the back so I can make my way to my car from two directions or hide and wait for awhile. I can also make my way to the neighbours through the woods or to the highway to the other three homes across the road. I always get stuck when I try to imagine how I can manage to get my dog to come with me and not slow me down or give me away. I guess I will have to just let that part take care of itself. It's probably better if he stays behind.
Nick still hasn't filled out the Property Disclosure Statement required by the real estate people. The agent said she had had an inquiry on the property and they had asked to see that. I asked Nick several times today if we could sit down and fill it out but he always gave an excuse and he is now locked in the computer room listening to his XFactor re-runs. He listens to the same one or two over and over again. I mean, the girl can sing, but I get tired of hearing the judges same the same things over and over, even if they are speaking in Ukrainian.
At least he finished putting the stuff back in the garage today. The yard is finally not full of tools, tarps and boxes full of assorted junk. I don't think he put the tires back in the garage though. Maybe I am supposed to take those to my storage locker. I think I will put them back in the garage instead.
The dumpster bin is now officially full. There is some room to toss a few things on the top but other than that I did a very good job of filling it up. I was helping Nick put one of the old TVs outside and he was pulling it by the cord to drag it down the outside steps and as I reached down to lift it up so it wouldn't get stuck, it flipped clear of the step and onto my foot. The same foot that hurt so much the first of last week. I put a large bandaid on it and put on those sneakers of my daughters that are two sizes too big for me. There is going to be a good bruise there but nothing more serious than that.
I cleaned up the ensuite bathroom today as Nick did finish the wallpapering he started on Saturday. Of course he had left everything he used sitting either on the bed or on the floor and all the wallpaper cuttings and chunks of drywall from where he had filled in the holes behind the mirror and toilet paper holder were all over the floor, the toilet, the sink and the shower. Not to mention tracked out into the bedroom and from there into the hallway. I vacuumed each time he would hang a strip or two but he managed to spread the job out over a five-day period.
I went to the computer room this afternoon to ask Nick if he would hang the bathroom mirror for me so I could take a picture of the room to send to the real estate agent and I forget now why we went into the kitchen together, but I noticed his phone sitting on the table - unlocked! I have picked it up multiple times and tried to guess his passcode but of course I am never able to get into it. He needed me upstairs several times to hold the mirror and to help him measure but I managed to look around at his messages for 3 or 4 minutes. I was terrified he would catch me.
I think he is still communicating with the same woman he visited in Frankfurt in May. I know her name is Olesya but if they are the same person, it translates to Olga. That is how Nick refers to her in his messages to other people. He was texting a guy from his former office and they were discussing how young this Olga looks. I hate to say it but she does look very young for her stated age. Nick was also texting this Dave guy I have heard him on the phone with and I think this Dave guy is dating a Ukrainian woman as well and he is helping Nick with the translations somehow. Dave and Nick also discuss the price of some sort of birth product - I am assuming it is placental tissue or something similar - and the price they discuss is $2000.00. I have wondered for years what Nick is squandering all his money (and mine) on, and I do know he takes anabolic steroids and he must be buying some of this other stuff as well. He purchases a lot of supplements, but not nearly enough to add up to the amounts he is spending. I paid his Visa off for him in January 2014 from the proceeds of my house and it was $15,000, and then in October of 2016 he took the $31,000 from our mortgage and put that on his Visa. I guess that is about $1000 a month because it took him 2+1/2 years to run it up to $31,000 which is about 33 months. I suppose, honestly, it wouldn't take much to overspend by that amount each month.
I saw a text from Nick to his daughter asking her to send $50 to Olga because 'she is going to help get a resident card for me'. There is some reason Nick doesn't want the $50 easily traced back to him. Maybe it's simply because I found the Western Union receipt showing he had sent money to her before and he knows that will come up if the divorce ever goes all the way to court, but I have to wonder if he doesn't want it discovered by anyone else that he is planning to move there. And I don't mean me. Maybe he doesn't want to be found after he leaves. His daughter will know where he is, I know that now too. I wish I had thought to get Olga's number from Nick's phone when I had the chance.
The last thing I saw on Nick's phone was a text from his daughter that said 'if you're not busy next week we should go to the gun range lol'. I heard Nick talking on the phone to her yesterday and I know she is having relationship troubles with her live-in boyfriend. When I first read the text I thought it was a joke that they both could pretend to shoot at me, but on further consideration, I think maybe she meant her father could aim at me and she could aim at her boyfriend.
Monday 24 July 2017
Monday, July 24, 2017
Monday, July 24, 2017
I was off Saturday, Sunday and today and I am very pleased with what I accomplished around here with regards to getting the place ready for sale. Of course the sign is already up so it is technically up for sale but I am still trying to work through the 'to do' list the real estate agent suggested. My daughter helped me cut the grass on Thursday and I got the whipper snipper going while she did that. What a huge difference it makes when you take the time to do it. Makes the whole property look so neat and cared for. The agent mentioned it and it is not something I usually bother with, but I have been convinced!
Saturday I started cleaning out the garage by taking everything out of it and then sweeping and wiping the shelving down, and putting the stuff back in it that I wanted to keep. When I got to Nick's stuff, I just left it in the yard for him to put away. That way he will know where it is and I won't be called on to find it. Actually it is about 9:30pm and Nick has still not finished putting his stuff back into the garage yet. I told him it was expected to rain this evening and it was starting to drizzle as I finished in the barn. I put the generator and the lawn mower back into the garage but I left everything else just where it was. Nick hasn't been outside yet and I assume it is still raining. Oh well, maybe I should have told him but I didn't. Am I being mean?
My daughters came out to help on Saturday and arrived mid-afternoon. We weeded the garden, which is a huge job - it took the three of us about 45 minutes to do. Then I got the white paint out for them and they finished painted the verandah in the back for me. It looks great. Then we drove to a teeny take-out place about 15 minutes away and got a pizza for supper. Very yummy. We had a few beers and I had some wine. It was so great to have them here. They stayed overnight and left about 10am the next day. My youngest was flying back to England Sunday afternoon and her sister offered to take her to the airport. I had planned to take her but I accepted the offer as I was anxious to use the time to get some more stuff done around here.
I painted the master bath - well I put primer on the walls as the room had been an orange colour and it took two coats. I thought I would leave it white but I didn't like it so I bought some grey paint this morning and painted it a pale grey instead. I am very happy with the grey. My favourite wall color. It has inspired me to paint the downstairs hallway grey as well.
After I had finished painting I put up the new shower curtain and towel and took pictures which I sent to the real estate agent. I scrubbed the bathtub so it would be clean and shiny as well.
I hired a young fellow to shovel out the two stalls in the addition to the barn where the calves had been kept last winter which Nick had never mucked out. There is about two feet of manure in there and it is dry and hard. He worked for a couple of hours and I took a brush and a bucket of water and began to clean the walls on the barn so I could take some pictures for the listing. I worked for a good two hours and managed to do enough so I could take a few good shots of the barn. It was amazing how nice and white the barn looked! It never would have occurred to me in a million years to wash the walls.
Nick actually put the wallpaper up in the ensuite bathroom. He did a lot of swearing however and throwing things around. The first wallpaper I purchased was tearing when it was wet, as Nick was trying to put it up on Thursday. So after I had supper with my daughters, I bought more but the new stuff required the wall to be pasted. I actually didn't notice this until I had finished paying for it and was in the car ready to come home. For some reason I looked at it and saw I needed to buy the paste as well. Which I did but which Nick was not pleased with at all. He did put it up today and it looks very good, he just has another two strips or so to do.
Most of the time I was working, Nick was on the computer either on the dating website or watching/listening those audition shows in Russian or Ukrainian. That's what he is doing now. He comes upstairs to bed at all hours of the night; he always slams his bedroom door and wakes me up.
He spent hours on his cell phone yesterday talking to someone as he pretended to weed and work in the garden. I really wish I knew who he was talking to and what they were discussing. Nick told me when we were in the garage that he had 'had it with Salter' and that 'he was going to pay him a visit with his friend Bubba and he didn't care if he ended up in jail'. I wonder if he was actually talking to this thug friend of his he calls Bubba. Apparently Bubba is usually in jail himself. And I wonder if he and Bubba are planning to take Salter out or if they are scheming to take me out so Nick can have everything for himself I have spent my life savings on in the belief that this farm would be the retirement dream I was told it would be.
I was off Saturday, Sunday and today and I am very pleased with what I accomplished around here with regards to getting the place ready for sale. Of course the sign is already up so it is technically up for sale but I am still trying to work through the 'to do' list the real estate agent suggested. My daughter helped me cut the grass on Thursday and I got the whipper snipper going while she did that. What a huge difference it makes when you take the time to do it. Makes the whole property look so neat and cared for. The agent mentioned it and it is not something I usually bother with, but I have been convinced!
Saturday I started cleaning out the garage by taking everything out of it and then sweeping and wiping the shelving down, and putting the stuff back in it that I wanted to keep. When I got to Nick's stuff, I just left it in the yard for him to put away. That way he will know where it is and I won't be called on to find it. Actually it is about 9:30pm and Nick has still not finished putting his stuff back into the garage yet. I told him it was expected to rain this evening and it was starting to drizzle as I finished in the barn. I put the generator and the lawn mower back into the garage but I left everything else just where it was. Nick hasn't been outside yet and I assume it is still raining. Oh well, maybe I should have told him but I didn't. Am I being mean?
My daughters came out to help on Saturday and arrived mid-afternoon. We weeded the garden, which is a huge job - it took the three of us about 45 minutes to do. Then I got the white paint out for them and they finished painted the verandah in the back for me. It looks great. Then we drove to a teeny take-out place about 15 minutes away and got a pizza for supper. Very yummy. We had a few beers and I had some wine. It was so great to have them here. They stayed overnight and left about 10am the next day. My youngest was flying back to England Sunday afternoon and her sister offered to take her to the airport. I had planned to take her but I accepted the offer as I was anxious to use the time to get some more stuff done around here.
I painted the master bath - well I put primer on the walls as the room had been an orange colour and it took two coats. I thought I would leave it white but I didn't like it so I bought some grey paint this morning and painted it a pale grey instead. I am very happy with the grey. My favourite wall color. It has inspired me to paint the downstairs hallway grey as well.
After I had finished painting I put up the new shower curtain and towel and took pictures which I sent to the real estate agent. I scrubbed the bathtub so it would be clean and shiny as well.
I hired a young fellow to shovel out the two stalls in the addition to the barn where the calves had been kept last winter which Nick had never mucked out. There is about two feet of manure in there and it is dry and hard. He worked for a couple of hours and I took a brush and a bucket of water and began to clean the walls on the barn so I could take some pictures for the listing. I worked for a good two hours and managed to do enough so I could take a few good shots of the barn. It was amazing how nice and white the barn looked! It never would have occurred to me in a million years to wash the walls.
Nick actually put the wallpaper up in the ensuite bathroom. He did a lot of swearing however and throwing things around. The first wallpaper I purchased was tearing when it was wet, as Nick was trying to put it up on Thursday. So after I had supper with my daughters, I bought more but the new stuff required the wall to be pasted. I actually didn't notice this until I had finished paying for it and was in the car ready to come home. For some reason I looked at it and saw I needed to buy the paste as well. Which I did but which Nick was not pleased with at all. He did put it up today and it looks very good, he just has another two strips or so to do.
Most of the time I was working, Nick was on the computer either on the dating website or watching/listening those audition shows in Russian or Ukrainian. That's what he is doing now. He comes upstairs to bed at all hours of the night; he always slams his bedroom door and wakes me up.
He spent hours on his cell phone yesterday talking to someone as he pretended to weed and work in the garden. I really wish I knew who he was talking to and what they were discussing. Nick told me when we were in the garage that he had 'had it with Salter' and that 'he was going to pay him a visit with his friend Bubba and he didn't care if he ended up in jail'. I wonder if he was actually talking to this thug friend of his he calls Bubba. Apparently Bubba is usually in jail himself. And I wonder if he and Bubba are planning to take Salter out or if they are scheming to take me out so Nick can have everything for himself I have spent my life savings on in the belief that this farm would be the retirement dream I was told it would be.
Monday 17 July 2017
Monday, July 17, 2017
Monday, July 17, 2017
Well a much better day today. I got a lot accomplished and Nick was away most of the afternoon which was peaceful.
He signed the real estate listing before he left. We had decided on $319, 000 as the price but when she was here he insisted on $328, 000 so I didn't argue in case he changed his mind and refused to sign at all. The 'for sale' sign is now up!
The agent and I managed to take quite a few pictures by moving things around the rooms as most of the rooms have stuff in them that is going to be packed up. I actually filled up my car this evening so I can drop stuff off at the storage unit after work tomorrow night on my way to the airport to pick up my daughter.
I spent most of the afternoon cleaning up the last room in the basement and I believe I found about half of the tools that Nick said were stolen. He wouldn't admit it when I showed them to him, but I know enough about tools to know that what I found includes a lot of what he is missing. I found most of it on the bottom shelf of an old bookcase that was shoved up against another bookcase and the stuff was all piled on top of itself almost as if the bookcase had fallen over or the shelves had tumbled out. I even vacuumed up the spider webs in the rafters and filled three large garbage bags with wood chips and pieces of bark that was laying all over the floor as a result of stacking wood for the furnace down there and also having the electric wood splitter there as well. I washed 3 or 4 barn jackets and hung them out on the clothesline and I also washed a couple of horse blankets. I seem to get so much more done when Nick is away. I think it has more to do with draining of motivation when he is here, just sitting on the computer while I slave away. Today he got home around 4 and I was upstairs on the bed with my laptop with my left foot up on a pillow while I sent some of the pictures of the property I had taken a few weeks ago off to the agent. When I thought my foot felt better I got up and went out to cut the grass in the back yard which was getting pretty high. I don't know what I did to my foot but my baby toe is very sore and I have been taping it tightly to the rest of my foot since Wednesday. It was so painful this afternoon after I had spent just 10 minutes at the grass that I was nearly in tears. I took some pain relievers and re-taped it and changed into a pair of my daughter's old sneakers that are 2 sizes too big for me and all this made a huge difference. After I got my upset stomach under control from the pills I got an energy spurt and I managed to finish all that I had hoped to do tonight -
cutting that grass, dragging the pile of bags and junk I had removed from the basement out to dumpster, loading up my car with the boxes I had packed for storage and making up the bed in Nick's daughter's room (the one he has been sleeping in) and cleaning it up so I could take pictures. And then sending them off to the real estate agent.
Nick just came to my bedroom door and yelled at me for putting the stuff from his dresser into a small cardboard box and setting it back on the dresser. I even was careful and thoughtful enough to place some of the things back on the dresser rather than leave them in the box - like his glasses, keys, reading light etc., things I know he will be looking for right away. No mention of how neat and clean the room looks, just a lot of banging and slamming doors. Great. 10:20 at night.
I put the stuff in a box because I figured if someone wants to look at the house then the box can just be picked up and put in the closet and the room will be neat with minimal effort. I know what it is like to live in a house that's up for sale and you have to have these strategies if you are going to keep your sanity.
He is getting himself a snack now and I guess I will just have to wait until he is finished his banging around. So childish. He is banging stuff around to show that he is pissed off and I am the one who spent all day cleaning and tidying and packing stuff up and cutting the grass on a hot and humid day with a sore foot while he spent the day in town doing errands and then sat in front of the computer for hours. He got up and went out to the barn to shovel and bring the horses in which took about 30 minutes in total. I guess maybe he expected I should be shovelling out the barn each day I have off like I used to when we had thirteen horses. But it's the only thing he does all day - and sometimes he doesn't even bother to do this - so I am not even going to consider doing it unless he refuses. I don't have the heart to let the horses have to spend the night in dirty stalls. I know they don't mind a day or two of manure, but I do.
Man I wish he would quit his banging. Now he is throwing chairs around. Or doing the jitterbug with them haha. Is he ever in a rage! About his stuff being put in a box? More likely about his internet lady or ladies letting him down. I think now he is still communicating with the one he went to visit. He writes things like 'why don't you write me?' and 'I can wait for you' in his Ukrainian practice scribbler. I look in it every day or two when he has gone out of the house to see what I can find out. I saw things like 'will you marry me' and 'you are my life' as well as the woman's name which was the same name on the Western Union money transfer receipt that I found. So every little bit of information is a piece of the puzzle. It may not mean something right away but I have learned that if you are patient and keep your eyes and ears and mind open, the truth will be revealed in time. How's that for some deep thinking?
Well Nick has finally slammed the door to his bedroom so I think I am safe to power down my computer and turn off my light. A good day all things considered. I guess the months and months of talking about putting the place up for sale are over and the doing has begun.
Well a much better day today. I got a lot accomplished and Nick was away most of the afternoon which was peaceful.
He signed the real estate listing before he left. We had decided on $319, 000 as the price but when she was here he insisted on $328, 000 so I didn't argue in case he changed his mind and refused to sign at all. The 'for sale' sign is now up!
The agent and I managed to take quite a few pictures by moving things around the rooms as most of the rooms have stuff in them that is going to be packed up. I actually filled up my car this evening so I can drop stuff off at the storage unit after work tomorrow night on my way to the airport to pick up my daughter.
I spent most of the afternoon cleaning up the last room in the basement and I believe I found about half of the tools that Nick said were stolen. He wouldn't admit it when I showed them to him, but I know enough about tools to know that what I found includes a lot of what he is missing. I found most of it on the bottom shelf of an old bookcase that was shoved up against another bookcase and the stuff was all piled on top of itself almost as if the bookcase had fallen over or the shelves had tumbled out. I even vacuumed up the spider webs in the rafters and filled three large garbage bags with wood chips and pieces of bark that was laying all over the floor as a result of stacking wood for the furnace down there and also having the electric wood splitter there as well. I washed 3 or 4 barn jackets and hung them out on the clothesline and I also washed a couple of horse blankets. I seem to get so much more done when Nick is away. I think it has more to do with draining of motivation when he is here, just sitting on the computer while I slave away. Today he got home around 4 and I was upstairs on the bed with my laptop with my left foot up on a pillow while I sent some of the pictures of the property I had taken a few weeks ago off to the agent. When I thought my foot felt better I got up and went out to cut the grass in the back yard which was getting pretty high. I don't know what I did to my foot but my baby toe is very sore and I have been taping it tightly to the rest of my foot since Wednesday. It was so painful this afternoon after I had spent just 10 minutes at the grass that I was nearly in tears. I took some pain relievers and re-taped it and changed into a pair of my daughter's old sneakers that are 2 sizes too big for me and all this made a huge difference. After I got my upset stomach under control from the pills I got an energy spurt and I managed to finish all that I had hoped to do tonight -
cutting that grass, dragging the pile of bags and junk I had removed from the basement out to dumpster, loading up my car with the boxes I had packed for storage and making up the bed in Nick's daughter's room (the one he has been sleeping in) and cleaning it up so I could take pictures. And then sending them off to the real estate agent.
Nick just came to my bedroom door and yelled at me for putting the stuff from his dresser into a small cardboard box and setting it back on the dresser. I even was careful and thoughtful enough to place some of the things back on the dresser rather than leave them in the box - like his glasses, keys, reading light etc., things I know he will be looking for right away. No mention of how neat and clean the room looks, just a lot of banging and slamming doors. Great. 10:20 at night.
I put the stuff in a box because I figured if someone wants to look at the house then the box can just be picked up and put in the closet and the room will be neat with minimal effort. I know what it is like to live in a house that's up for sale and you have to have these strategies if you are going to keep your sanity.
He is getting himself a snack now and I guess I will just have to wait until he is finished his banging around. So childish. He is banging stuff around to show that he is pissed off and I am the one who spent all day cleaning and tidying and packing stuff up and cutting the grass on a hot and humid day with a sore foot while he spent the day in town doing errands and then sat in front of the computer for hours. He got up and went out to the barn to shovel and bring the horses in which took about 30 minutes in total. I guess maybe he expected I should be shovelling out the barn each day I have off like I used to when we had thirteen horses. But it's the only thing he does all day - and sometimes he doesn't even bother to do this - so I am not even going to consider doing it unless he refuses. I don't have the heart to let the horses have to spend the night in dirty stalls. I know they don't mind a day or two of manure, but I do.
Man I wish he would quit his banging. Now he is throwing chairs around. Or doing the jitterbug with them haha. Is he ever in a rage! About his stuff being put in a box? More likely about his internet lady or ladies letting him down. I think now he is still communicating with the one he went to visit. He writes things like 'why don't you write me?' and 'I can wait for you' in his Ukrainian practice scribbler. I look in it every day or two when he has gone out of the house to see what I can find out. I saw things like 'will you marry me' and 'you are my life' as well as the woman's name which was the same name on the Western Union money transfer receipt that I found. So every little bit of information is a piece of the puzzle. It may not mean something right away but I have learned that if you are patient and keep your eyes and ears and mind open, the truth will be revealed in time. How's that for some deep thinking?
Well Nick has finally slammed the door to his bedroom so I think I am safe to power down my computer and turn off my light. A good day all things considered. I guess the months and months of talking about putting the place up for sale are over and the doing has begun.
Sunday 16 July 2017
Sunday, July 16, 2017
Sunday, July 16, 2017
Another long day of painting and trying to clean up around here. I tried to make an entry here last night, but my computer had updates planned instead.
After work yesterday I had to have my daughter's car towed to a garage so it can be looked at, I think something is wrong with whatever it is that you use to change gears with in an automatic. Linkage? We thought it just wouldn't start but the tow truck guy jumped it and then when I tried to move it that is when I noticed it was very stiff and difficult to put into park, reverse, drive, etc.
I got up today and began to finish up painting the barn. I did get it all done except for some of the white trim that was up at the very top. I couldn't reach it with the extension ladder and although Nick put the bucket of the tractor up a couple of times so I could paint the main part of the barn, I couldn't be bothered to ask him to do it the 3 or 4 more times it would take to complete it entirely.
I tidied up a bit inside as the real estate agent is coming tomorrow. I noticed when I was vacuuming the living room that my antique phonograph was not in its usual spot so I asked Nick where it was and he told me Salter had taken it. Nick did admit after a lot of yelling that he took it and moved it downstairs to make a point. What exact point he was trying to make I am not sure. His logic evades me. I have to remind myself sometimes that there is no way to reason with him because his sense of reason is so distorted that it is just a waste of time and effort to try.
At the moment he is sighing and swearing and talking to himself as he walks into his bedroom and then stomps back out again and seems to be looking for something. I have my door open because it is so warm but I guess that is a good thing as he doesn't have to be very loud in order for me to hear his performance.
I must admit I do find it frustrating when I am working my heart around here day after day to fix this place up to sell while Nick sits on his computer all day. Today it was X Factor auditions he was watching and he had it turned up full blast while he spent about an hour in the ensuite bathroom getting it ready to put the wallpaper up. Then he announced that all of his sandpaper had been stolen so he wouldn't be able to do any more. So instead he spent another 5 or 6 hours sitting in front of the computer screen until he went out at dusk to shovel the stalls and bring the horses in. And then he was right back at it again. I honestly don't know what a person can do with a computer for that many hours a day, every day. My bum would be numb.
Another long day of painting and trying to clean up around here. I tried to make an entry here last night, but my computer had updates planned instead.
After work yesterday I had to have my daughter's car towed to a garage so it can be looked at, I think something is wrong with whatever it is that you use to change gears with in an automatic. Linkage? We thought it just wouldn't start but the tow truck guy jumped it and then when I tried to move it that is when I noticed it was very stiff and difficult to put into park, reverse, drive, etc.
I got up today and began to finish up painting the barn. I did get it all done except for some of the white trim that was up at the very top. I couldn't reach it with the extension ladder and although Nick put the bucket of the tractor up a couple of times so I could paint the main part of the barn, I couldn't be bothered to ask him to do it the 3 or 4 more times it would take to complete it entirely.
I tidied up a bit inside as the real estate agent is coming tomorrow. I noticed when I was vacuuming the living room that my antique phonograph was not in its usual spot so I asked Nick where it was and he told me Salter had taken it. Nick did admit after a lot of yelling that he took it and moved it downstairs to make a point. What exact point he was trying to make I am not sure. His logic evades me. I have to remind myself sometimes that there is no way to reason with him because his sense of reason is so distorted that it is just a waste of time and effort to try.
At the moment he is sighing and swearing and talking to himself as he walks into his bedroom and then stomps back out again and seems to be looking for something. I have my door open because it is so warm but I guess that is a good thing as he doesn't have to be very loud in order for me to hear his performance.
I must admit I do find it frustrating when I am working my heart around here day after day to fix this place up to sell while Nick sits on his computer all day. Today it was X Factor auditions he was watching and he had it turned up full blast while he spent about an hour in the ensuite bathroom getting it ready to put the wallpaper up. Then he announced that all of his sandpaper had been stolen so he wouldn't be able to do any more. So instead he spent another 5 or 6 hours sitting in front of the computer screen until he went out at dusk to shovel the stalls and bring the horses in. And then he was right back at it again. I honestly don't know what a person can do with a computer for that many hours a day, every day. My bum would be numb.
Thursday 13 July 2017
Thursday, July 13, 2017
10:30pm
I must say I am very pleased with the progress I made today cleaning up the basement. Three out of the four rooms look great. The last one has a lot of wood debris etc, but I am encouraged to tackle it now. I worked down there for five hours and then I came upstairs and started tidying up each room by packing away cluttery items. I washed a lot of bedding too. Jack didn't come today to shovel out the extension but he called and he may be out on Monday. He has a full-time job as well so he is squeezing this in.
Nick and his son loaded up the leg press machine and took that out of the basement as well. When he got back he brought his suitcase upstairs. I asked him if he was going on a trip but he didn't answer. I know he is communicating with a new lady now so I assume he will go over there again to meet her. I just hope he will still be here Monday to sign the listing agreement. But what a bad mood he is in lately. He said tonight as he got his supplements out that one of the bottles had pills missing as he had just opened it and it was nearly gone already. So of course that means that Salter was in here today to help himself.
10:30pm
I must say I am very pleased with the progress I made today cleaning up the basement. Three out of the four rooms look great. The last one has a lot of wood debris etc, but I am encouraged to tackle it now. I worked down there for five hours and then I came upstairs and started tidying up each room by packing away cluttery items. I washed a lot of bedding too. Jack didn't come today to shovel out the extension but he called and he may be out on Monday. He has a full-time job as well so he is squeezing this in.
Nick and his son loaded up the leg press machine and took that out of the basement as well. When he got back he brought his suitcase upstairs. I asked him if he was going on a trip but he didn't answer. I know he is communicating with a new lady now so I assume he will go over there again to meet her. I just hope he will still be here Monday to sign the listing agreement. But what a bad mood he is in lately. He said tonight as he got his supplements out that one of the bottles had pills missing as he had just opened it and it was nearly gone already. So of course that means that Salter was in here today to help himself.
Thursday, July 13, 2017
I will jump ahead to what is going on at present and attempt to fill in the missing weeks as I go.
We are putting the farm up for sale. I have contacted a real estate agent and she has been to the property to do an assessment as well as to give us a list of things to do to get ready to list. I am trying my best to get the stuff on that list done, but of course, I am getting no help or support (financial or other wise) from Nick. I had my daughters and my sister out on July 3 to help me paint the barn and that looks great, there is only a small piece to finish as well as the trim around 4 windows. We ran out of paint and I had to order more so that has arrived and I worked on the remaining parts on Monday. It is a little slow going by myself but I have managed to use the extension ladder and now I can reach any section I need to paint. Before we used only a step ladder and Nick did paint for about 30 minutes from the bucket of the tractor and did the very peak but that's when the paint ran out.
I have rented a 30yd dumpster bin for 30 days and it is sitting in the yard at the moment. I have two weeks left to fill it up. Actually it is about two-thirds full. I went through a lot of the boxes and stuff in the basement and tossed a lot out. On July 2, the evening before my daughters were to come out to do the barn, they decided to come out just after supper and we sorted through the majority of the boxes that were theirs that came back from university in Ontario. And some with Christmas odd and ends that didn't find their way into use. It was a lot of fun doing this and very productive.
I did manage to discard some of Nick's stuff along with mine and the girl's. I do feel bad about doing that, but it was a mistake, and I have been opening the boxes and taking a look through them to see what is inside. I put a number of boxes outside the computer room for him to look at, but they are still sitting there untouched after ten days. I even took pictures of them in the hallway. Oh and I hope the pictures I have started adding make this more interesting! Getting the photos from my phone to this computer is a somewhat tedious process, believe it or not, as they are transferred wirelessly and the internet here is spotty. It takes forever and I often do it at work where the wifi is so much faster and more reliable.
When I got home last night after work I noticed that Nick had piled up the stuff in the dumpster and then I realized he had gone through most of it. He had written me a note and left it on a box he had retrieved from the dumpster. (I must remember to come back here and insert a picture of the note!). The note let me know that I had thrown out some of his stuff, the tone was that I had done this intentionally, which was not the case. It would be so much easier if he could just lend a hand with cleaning out the basement, but I know this is not going to happen. I don't want to nag him or antagonize him on purpose or otherwise as I need him to sig n the listing agreement with the real estate agent. She was scheduled to come out this past Monday, but Nick texted me at work Friday morning to tell me he wasn't going to entertain the idea of signing until I had arranged the return of all of the things of his that are missing. So I let her know we had to cancel and then on Monday morning Nick says to me that we 'need to get the agent out here as soon as possible'. This was ten minutes before the time she originally had planned to be here. I re-scheduled her for the following Monday at 10am which is four days from now. I sure hope he doesn't decide to cancel a second time. he said he has figured out another way to deal with Salter, my imaginary boyfriend and neighbour as well as thief. Nick is threatening every day or so to get his thug buddy Bubba to join him in beating up this guy and 'leaving him dead or wishing he was dead'. Nick also left me a note saying he would 'visit' Salter if he had to.
I am off today and I had planned to finish up painting the barn but it is supposed to rain, although it hasn't started, so I think I will try to clear the last stuff out of the basement and then sweep, clean and tidy the four rooms down there and re-box/re-stack the stuff that has to be stored down there.
I put up a notice at the Irving gas station just down the road saying I was looking for someone young and strong to shovel out the extension to the barn which we had full of horses and the two calves only a few months ago. I shouldn't use the word 'only' because although it wasn't all that long ago, it has been three months since animals were in those stalls and Nick still has made no attempt to shovel them out. There were all just left the way the were the morning the horse that occupied went to its new home. I am proud to say all the horses went to good people, who will be the sole owners of our horses, so they will get the care and attention they need, and they will be ridden. We asked modest prices for them and some of them we gave away to friends of my mother's who live on farms close to my hometown. All but Invictus because he was sold to Randy who collects horses and doesn't do much at all with them. He leaves most of them put year long and his favorites he brings inside and keeps in straight stalls. Nick must have needed the money from him pretty badly to let him go there. But at least no one will whip him of put a sever bit in his mouth to make him behave.
I didn't sleep well last night, I feel that Nick is up to something. He has been banging and slamming around the house continually when I am home but I usually get some uninterrupted sleep in when he is sleeping. Last night however there was a black beetle in my bed that bit me twice before I got up and turned on the light and captured him in a bottle. The first time he bit me I just brushed him off thinking it was a spider, but the second time it was a hard bite and I jumped up to look at the spot under my arm where he had attacked me. I tried to get back to sleep but my mind was determined to convince me that Nick and his daughter had conspired and decided to get rid of me by having some deadly bug appear in my bed and do me in as I dreamed. I imagined the beetle had been investigated on and ordered from the internet. Neither Nick or his daughter do much else than cruise around on the computer every day. She doesn't work either.
I will jump ahead to what is going on at present and attempt to fill in the missing weeks as I go.
We are putting the farm up for sale. I have contacted a real estate agent and she has been to the property to do an assessment as well as to give us a list of things to do to get ready to list. I am trying my best to get the stuff on that list done, but of course, I am getting no help or support (financial or other wise) from Nick. I had my daughters and my sister out on July 3 to help me paint the barn and that looks great, there is only a small piece to finish as well as the trim around 4 windows. We ran out of paint and I had to order more so that has arrived and I worked on the remaining parts on Monday. It is a little slow going by myself but I have managed to use the extension ladder and now I can reach any section I need to paint. Before we used only a step ladder and Nick did paint for about 30 minutes from the bucket of the tractor and did the very peak but that's when the paint ran out.
I did manage to discard some of Nick's stuff along with mine and the girl's. I do feel bad about doing that, but it was a mistake, and I have been opening the boxes and taking a look through them to see what is inside. I put a number of boxes outside the computer room for him to look at, but they are still sitting there untouched after ten days. I even took pictures of them in the hallway. Oh and I hope the pictures I have started adding make this more interesting! Getting the photos from my phone to this computer is a somewhat tedious process, believe it or not, as they are transferred wirelessly and the internet here is spotty. It takes forever and I often do it at work where the wifi is so much faster and more reliable.
When I got home last night after work I noticed that Nick had piled up the stuff in the dumpster and then I realized he had gone through most of it. He had written me a note and left it on a box he had retrieved from the dumpster. (I must remember to come back here and insert a picture of the note!). The note let me know that I had thrown out some of his stuff, the tone was that I had done this intentionally, which was not the case. It would be so much easier if he could just lend a hand with cleaning out the basement, but I know this is not going to happen. I don't want to nag him or antagonize him on purpose or otherwise as I need him to sig n the listing agreement with the real estate agent. She was scheduled to come out this past Monday, but Nick texted me at work Friday morning to tell me he wasn't going to entertain the idea of signing until I had arranged the return of all of the things of his that are missing. So I let her know we had to cancel and then on Monday morning Nick says to me that we 'need to get the agent out here as soon as possible'. This was ten minutes before the time she originally had planned to be here. I re-scheduled her for the following Monday at 10am which is four days from now. I sure hope he doesn't decide to cancel a second time. he said he has figured out another way to deal with Salter, my imaginary boyfriend and neighbour as well as thief. Nick is threatening every day or so to get his thug buddy Bubba to join him in beating up this guy and 'leaving him dead or wishing he was dead'. Nick also left me a note saying he would 'visit' Salter if he had to.
I am off today and I had planned to finish up painting the barn but it is supposed to rain, although it hasn't started, so I think I will try to clear the last stuff out of the basement and then sweep, clean and tidy the four rooms down there and re-box/re-stack the stuff that has to be stored down there.
I put up a notice at the Irving gas station just down the road saying I was looking for someone young and strong to shovel out the extension to the barn which we had full of horses and the two calves only a few months ago. I shouldn't use the word 'only' because although it wasn't all that long ago, it has been three months since animals were in those stalls and Nick still has made no attempt to shovel them out. There were all just left the way the were the morning the horse that occupied went to its new home. I am proud to say all the horses went to good people, who will be the sole owners of our horses, so they will get the care and attention they need, and they will be ridden. We asked modest prices for them and some of them we gave away to friends of my mother's who live on farms close to my hometown. All but Invictus because he was sold to Randy who collects horses and doesn't do much at all with them. He leaves most of them put year long and his favorites he brings inside and keeps in straight stalls. Nick must have needed the money from him pretty badly to let him go there. But at least no one will whip him of put a sever bit in his mouth to make him behave.
I didn't sleep well last night, I feel that Nick is up to something. He has been banging and slamming around the house continually when I am home but I usually get some uninterrupted sleep in when he is sleeping. Last night however there was a black beetle in my bed that bit me twice before I got up and turned on the light and captured him in a bottle. The first time he bit me I just brushed him off thinking it was a spider, but the second time it was a hard bite and I jumped up to look at the spot under my arm where he had attacked me. I tried to get back to sleep but my mind was determined to convince me that Nick and his daughter had conspired and decided to get rid of me by having some deadly bug appear in my bed and do me in as I dreamed. I imagined the beetle had been investigated on and ordered from the internet. Neither Nick or his daughter do much else than cruise around on the computer every day. She doesn't work either.
Tuesday 11 July 2017
Tuesday, July 11, 2017
Well, where to start? On March 9 I went to the RCMP with some of my concerns. Let me just say that on Saturday March 11 I left the farm with only my cell phone and my laptop and my purse and the chargers for both. And my car. My youngest daughter was on her way out for a visit but I contacted her and I met her at her at my other daughter's place instead. I spent the night there and then I went to my sister's place on Sunday March 12. I had Monday off as well and I came back to the farm to grab a few more of my belongings but Nick wasn't here and I had no key to get inside. I have no keys to my own house because Nick accuses me of giving them or copies of them to Salter and so the last time Nick changed the locks (the third time, I think) I asked him not to give me a key, that way I would be unable to give it to anyone. I stopped at Costco on my way back to my sister's and picked up a couple of pairs of pants and a couple of T-shirts to wear to work. I learned very quickly there is very little you really need and a lot you can live without.
I ended up staying at my sister's for about 10 weeks. During that time I managed to sell all the horses except Invictus and Paladin, who have both since gone to new homes. Paul did deliver them which I was thankful for, I had to pay him $100 for one of the deliveries but it was worth it. Paul had Paladin gelded which really surprised me but he went to the same stable as his half-brother Kronos - the father of the young lady who bought Kronos bought him - and Invictus disappeared one Saturday while I was at work just recently - I believe he was sold to the fellow who trucked him down from Ontario for us and who has always wanted to own him. I found it incredible that Paul had sold that horse to that guy, we both agreed that while this guy thinks he is good to his horses, he actually doesn't understand what they need or how to handle them properly. I believe Paul needed money so badly that he sold his favorite horse to this guy.
I moved back to the farm on May 18th. Paul had a trip planned for May 20th, a Saturday that I worked and I had to work the Friday as well so I brought my stuff back on my day off, the Thursday. He was going to Europe to meet the lady from the Ukraine he had been communicating with and to whom he had been sending money by Western Union. I found the receipts in his wallet. I saw pictures of her on his screen saver on the computer. I saw her name where he had written stuff in his Hilroy scribbler that he used to practise his Ukranian in.
He left Saturday May 20th and came back the second Monday following, about 10 days later. He had told me he would be back on the Friday but he didn't arrive back at the farm until the next Monday.
I had a wonderful time while he was away despite the fact that I had to get up early to feed the animals and put the horses out before I left for work at 8am and I had to bring them in and feed them again when I got home at 9pm.
Well, where to start? On March 9 I went to the RCMP with some of my concerns. Let me just say that on Saturday March 11 I left the farm with only my cell phone and my laptop and my purse and the chargers for both. And my car. My youngest daughter was on her way out for a visit but I contacted her and I met her at her at my other daughter's place instead. I spent the night there and then I went to my sister's place on Sunday March 12. I had Monday off as well and I came back to the farm to grab a few more of my belongings but Nick wasn't here and I had no key to get inside. I have no keys to my own house because Nick accuses me of giving them or copies of them to Salter and so the last time Nick changed the locks (the third time, I think) I asked him not to give me a key, that way I would be unable to give it to anyone. I stopped at Costco on my way back to my sister's and picked up a couple of pairs of pants and a couple of T-shirts to wear to work. I learned very quickly there is very little you really need and a lot you can live without.
I ended up staying at my sister's for about 10 weeks. During that time I managed to sell all the horses except Invictus and Paladin, who have both since gone to new homes. Paul did deliver them which I was thankful for, I had to pay him $100 for one of the deliveries but it was worth it. Paul had Paladin gelded which really surprised me but he went to the same stable as his half-brother Kronos - the father of the young lady who bought Kronos bought him - and Invictus disappeared one Saturday while I was at work just recently - I believe he was sold to the fellow who trucked him down from Ontario for us and who has always wanted to own him. I found it incredible that Paul had sold that horse to that guy, we both agreed that while this guy thinks he is good to his horses, he actually doesn't understand what they need or how to handle them properly. I believe Paul needed money so badly that he sold his favorite horse to this guy.
I moved back to the farm on May 18th. Paul had a trip planned for May 20th, a Saturday that I worked and I had to work the Friday as well so I brought my stuff back on my day off, the Thursday. He was going to Europe to meet the lady from the Ukraine he had been communicating with and to whom he had been sending money by Western Union. I found the receipts in his wallet. I saw pictures of her on his screen saver on the computer. I saw her name where he had written stuff in his Hilroy scribbler that he used to practise his Ukranian in.
He left Saturday May 20th and came back the second Monday following, about 10 days later. He had told me he would be back on the Friday but he didn't arrive back at the farm until the next Monday.
I had a wonderful time while he was away despite the fact that I had to get up early to feed the animals and put the horses out before I left for work at 8am and I had to bring them in and feed them again when I got home at 9pm.
Monday 10 July 2017
Monday, July 10, 2017
Wow....sorry I have a lot of catching up to do here. So much has happened.
I thought my world was crazy when I wrote the last entry, but I never imagined how totally out of control it could actually get. Just like something you might see on TV.
I will have to continue tomorrow evening. I spent all day painting today and I am short of sleep lately. Nick has been banging just about anything you can slam or bang at all hours of the night. He decides to look for all kinds of random things at 1am and swears for hours while he searches. The other night he came into my bedroom at about 4am to rant that Salter has taken Nick's mother's teapot and pawned it for money. Coffee and milk are also missing. Maybe I should suggest that Nick take pictures of things, his memory sucks so much.
I will attempt to fill in some of the events of the past 3 or 4 months in the next few entries.
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