Thursday, August 31, 2017
This is one of the days of the year I dread. I so look forward to the summer, to July and August, so I am always sorry when August draws to a close. Some folks think of September as the start of a new year, but for me it is always the end of the only season I like and the beginning of the cold that just gets worse until it finally ends in about 10 months!
I was off today and Nick left around noon to do some errands. I cut the grass which took about 2+1/2 hours and I puttered around doing little things like filling the duck's kiddie pool with water and making a video of them going for a swim and taking a bath. It was a lovely day, sunny and warm. I picked some beans and tomatoes and then I came inside to vacuum and clean the bathrooms, tidy up the kitchen, empty the dishwasher, nothing too strenuous. I tried to read outside with a glass of wine because I wanted my dog Sam to have some time outside today but the bugs drove me mad so I gave up and came inside after about 20 minutes. I had multiple spots bleeding from scratching and I wasn't keen on making scars haha.
My dear dog Sam has really gotten old over the last few weeks. He was 10 in February and his breed's life expectancy is 10 to 12 years. He fell backwards trying to come up the stairs a couple of times about 6 weeks ago so I took him to get his nails cut because the stairway is hardwood and I felt he was 'skidding' on his nails. It did seem to make a bit of a difference but about a week ago he stopped eating his dry kibble and I have started giving him canned food instead. He will eat some of it but then decides he has had enough. The same with treats and biscuits. He is very pleased with the first one but quickly loses interest. Last evening he slid backwards down the stairs as he tried to come up to bed and I got Nick to carry him up. He slept all night in one spot and didn't get up at all when I got up and got dressed. When I went over to the other side of the bed to check on him, he had gotten himself under the bed and of course, couldn't get up or out. I just pulled him by his legs and slid him clear, the floor is hardwood. But he made no attempt to get up. I had to lift him up under his rib cage and coax him out of the bedroom and down the stairs. And then he went and laid down on the tiled floor in the main floor bathroom. There he stayed until about 3pm when again I had to coax him to come outside and go for a pee. He didn't want to go for a walk around, he just turned and headed back for the door. That is when I decided to grab my book and a glass of wine and I tried to get him out into some fresh air.
Nick has come home while I was typing. It was getting late so I brought the horses in and fed them and the calf and finished in the barn for the night. I shoveled the stalls quickly but not thoroughly and I threw some extra hay down for the calf as bedding for the night. It would really be nice if Nick would shovel the stalls before he disappears for the day. He must know by now that he almost never gets back in time to get out and shovel before I bring them in. In fact, the other night as I arrived home from work around 915pm, Nick hustled out to the barn just as I was coming down the walkway. He must have heard my car and realized how late it was. I swear he has absolutely no concept of the passage of time when he sits down at his computer. But doesn't the time show in the corner somewhere?
I put our last horse Zack, for sale online and there have been 4 or 5 people interested in him. Two of them are planning to come out on Monday to see him, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. A couple of others have yet to decide on days or times. I asked Nick when the boarder is moving his horse and he said he is looking for another place now, so I really hope that it so. It would be so not fair to have that poor horse here by herself all winter.
Thursday, 31 August 2017
Monday, 28 August 2017
Monday, August 28, 2017
Monday, August 28, 2017
The last of my three days off. I spent Saturday moving the rest of the few items of furniture my younger daughter had left in the apartment she sub-let for the summer which was the remainder of her lease. Her sister and fiancé helped and it was nice to see them. We also spent Sunday, my birthday together. We took a drive up to a spot she is thinking of having her wedding next year and had lunch in the little town nearby. It was a great way to spend a birthday. Even your 60th haha.
Nick hasn't been home the past few evenings in time to bring the horses in so I have been doing this. It's not that I mind at all, it's just that I would like to know before it start's to get dark and I realize Nick is not home yet and the horses are still out.
He has been gone during the day the last three days I have been home which is nice. He was away on Thursday too. He mentioned that he had stitches put in his finger from an accident he had with his throwing knives. He said he has been going to the gym to spar and to fight. I think it is a good thing for him to take out some of his frustration on somebody else.
He has been banging around the house here at night so often and so loudly that it is really disrupting my sleep and starting to wreck my nerves. Last night was the worst so far. He was tossing chairs around in the kitchen and yelling stuff. There was a rude note for me on the counter when I got up this morning. Telling me that some of his pills and supplements were missing and that the beef grower grain had disappeared - I had given it to my boyfriend Salter. Well it is true, I was the one who used up the beef grower because I was the one who brought the horses in the last few nights and I also gave them their grain on Saturday and Sunday mornings as I was getting ready to go to my daughter's and I felt sorry for the animals as I can hear the horses kicking their stall walls and the calf bawling in the barn so I fed them before I left. And he knew that. Of course I gave them beef grower so of course there is considerably less there than there was the last time he looked into the bin we keep it in. I don't know what has happened to his logic. It's like he can't figure what actually must have happened. He decides it has to be connected to Salter and no matter how outrageous the story is, that has to be the truth as far as he is concerned.
Last night I actually was scared of what he might do next. I managed to push the dresser in front on the bedroom door and the deck door was already blocked with furniture because Nick had done that earlier in the day. He did it the day before as well. I closed and locked the bathroom window and with those things done I felt somewhat confident that he wouldn't be able to come into the bedroom where I was trying to sleep. If he did try to get in somehow I figured I would have enough time to get out and get away. This morning after I got up I checked out the escape ladder my mom gave me in case of a fire and realized it wouldn't work over the deck railing. So I have decided I will make my escape another way and I set that up just in case. I'm not going to mention it here - just in case Nick has access to my laptop that I am unaware of. I need to get a backpack that I can throw my essentials into if I have to leave in a hurry.
He got up early this morning and started banging around again. I think it was around 6am. The episode in the middle of the night was from about 1am to 230am. He woke me up when he came upstairs to bed around 11pm. I ended up sleeping in until about 10am which I promised myself I would do as I lay awake most of the night. I was quite relieved and happy to see his car was gone when I took my dog outside after I got up.
I painted the deck between the two upstairs bedrooms and I also painted the stairs going into the basement. Both I painted the same dark grey with porch paint. I intended to do more painting but the garage was locked and the white exterior paint was locked inside so I wasn't able to paint the door of the shed and the railings on the other two bedroom decks. Oh well, gives me time to type on the computer.
Nick had been telling me to sell our last horse. When I asked him why he said 'I don't know how much longer I will be around' which suits me fine. I can't take much more of these antics in the middle of the night and early in the morning. I intend to contact a lawyer and maybe see if we can live in the house on alternate weeks.
I assume he is planning another trip to Europe to see his Ukrainian girlfriend. He had another picture of her he wanted me to see the other day. She was in a black bikini and she was leaning back on a railing in front of a beach. She does look lovely, but I don't know what she is doing with Nick. I suppose she thinks he has money and will bring her and her daughter to Canada before she dumps him.
The last of my three days off. I spent Saturday moving the rest of the few items of furniture my younger daughter had left in the apartment she sub-let for the summer which was the remainder of her lease. Her sister and fiancé helped and it was nice to see them. We also spent Sunday, my birthday together. We took a drive up to a spot she is thinking of having her wedding next year and had lunch in the little town nearby. It was a great way to spend a birthday. Even your 60th haha.
Nick hasn't been home the past few evenings in time to bring the horses in so I have been doing this. It's not that I mind at all, it's just that I would like to know before it start's to get dark and I realize Nick is not home yet and the horses are still out.
He has been gone during the day the last three days I have been home which is nice. He was away on Thursday too. He mentioned that he had stitches put in his finger from an accident he had with his throwing knives. He said he has been going to the gym to spar and to fight. I think it is a good thing for him to take out some of his frustration on somebody else.
He has been banging around the house here at night so often and so loudly that it is really disrupting my sleep and starting to wreck my nerves. Last night was the worst so far. He was tossing chairs around in the kitchen and yelling stuff. There was a rude note for me on the counter when I got up this morning. Telling me that some of his pills and supplements were missing and that the beef grower grain had disappeared - I had given it to my boyfriend Salter. Well it is true, I was the one who used up the beef grower because I was the one who brought the horses in the last few nights and I also gave them their grain on Saturday and Sunday mornings as I was getting ready to go to my daughter's and I felt sorry for the animals as I can hear the horses kicking their stall walls and the calf bawling in the barn so I fed them before I left. And he knew that. Of course I gave them beef grower so of course there is considerably less there than there was the last time he looked into the bin we keep it in. I don't know what has happened to his logic. It's like he can't figure what actually must have happened. He decides it has to be connected to Salter and no matter how outrageous the story is, that has to be the truth as far as he is concerned.
Last night I actually was scared of what he might do next. I managed to push the dresser in front on the bedroom door and the deck door was already blocked with furniture because Nick had done that earlier in the day. He did it the day before as well. I closed and locked the bathroom window and with those things done I felt somewhat confident that he wouldn't be able to come into the bedroom where I was trying to sleep. If he did try to get in somehow I figured I would have enough time to get out and get away. This morning after I got up I checked out the escape ladder my mom gave me in case of a fire and realized it wouldn't work over the deck railing. So I have decided I will make my escape another way and I set that up just in case. I'm not going to mention it here - just in case Nick has access to my laptop that I am unaware of. I need to get a backpack that I can throw my essentials into if I have to leave in a hurry.
He got up early this morning and started banging around again. I think it was around 6am. The episode in the middle of the night was from about 1am to 230am. He woke me up when he came upstairs to bed around 11pm. I ended up sleeping in until about 10am which I promised myself I would do as I lay awake most of the night. I was quite relieved and happy to see his car was gone when I took my dog outside after I got up.
I painted the deck between the two upstairs bedrooms and I also painted the stairs going into the basement. Both I painted the same dark grey with porch paint. I intended to do more painting but the garage was locked and the white exterior paint was locked inside so I wasn't able to paint the door of the shed and the railings on the other two bedroom decks. Oh well, gives me time to type on the computer.
Nick had been telling me to sell our last horse. When I asked him why he said 'I don't know how much longer I will be around' which suits me fine. I can't take much more of these antics in the middle of the night and early in the morning. I intend to contact a lawyer and maybe see if we can live in the house on alternate weeks.
I assume he is planning another trip to Europe to see his Ukrainian girlfriend. He had another picture of her he wanted me to see the other day. She was in a black bikini and she was leaning back on a railing in front of a beach. She does look lovely, but I don't know what she is doing with Nick. I suppose she thinks he has money and will bring her and her daughter to Canada before she dumps him.
Friday, 25 August 2017
Friday, August 25, 2017
Friday, August 25, 2017
What a long week, I was so totally tired. Monday I was off and I got the grass cut and then I went into work to a meeting. I had planned to work in the yard and garden when I got back but the bugs were so bad from the recent rain that I decided to do stuff inside instead.
I had Thursday off as well and I did work in the garden in the morning - the beans and spinach and beet greens are ready to pick - but it was a hot, humid day and I talked myself out of anything else but housework. Thursday was also my younger daughter's birthday so I was a bit bummed out because she is so far away. I chatted with her via text messages but I still missed seeing her and hearing here voice. My birthday is in a couple of days and turning 60 with half of my life savings gone as a result of falling in love with a user and a schemer isn't feeling so great. I also always feel somewhat down at this time of the year. I look so forward to the summer and once I realize it is coming to an end I mourn its passing. I so don't enjoy the other months of the year. I love the warmth and the growing of the late spring and summer.
This fall has a lot of unknowns. Will Nick be around to plow the snow? How will I heat the house? He has cut no wood. There are a few trees down he can chainsaw into pieces but not nearly enough for several weeks let alone a whole winter, especially if it is a long and/or cold one. I hate the thought of going to bed each night fully dressed with a hat and scarf on like I did last winter and showering and dressing in the bathroom which I have warmed up a bit with a space heater.
I am now off for three days, which happens every 4 weeks. Nick has himself locked downstairs in the computer room where he is listening to some Eurovision 2017 stuff I think. At least some of it is. I hear that song he plays over and over and over again.
Nick was looking for a stud finder this morning. He told me it was missing about 5 minutes before I had to leave for work. I took a quick look around but all I managed to find was a motion detector he had hidden in the gym. I must admit I really thought I had found what he was looking for. He pretended that he was going to do some work on the house but couldn't now he didn't have what he needed. Such a crock of shit.
What a long week, I was so totally tired. Monday I was off and I got the grass cut and then I went into work to a meeting. I had planned to work in the yard and garden when I got back but the bugs were so bad from the recent rain that I decided to do stuff inside instead.
I had Thursday off as well and I did work in the garden in the morning - the beans and spinach and beet greens are ready to pick - but it was a hot, humid day and I talked myself out of anything else but housework. Thursday was also my younger daughter's birthday so I was a bit bummed out because she is so far away. I chatted with her via text messages but I still missed seeing her and hearing here voice. My birthday is in a couple of days and turning 60 with half of my life savings gone as a result of falling in love with a user and a schemer isn't feeling so great. I also always feel somewhat down at this time of the year. I look so forward to the summer and once I realize it is coming to an end I mourn its passing. I so don't enjoy the other months of the year. I love the warmth and the growing of the late spring and summer.
This fall has a lot of unknowns. Will Nick be around to plow the snow? How will I heat the house? He has cut no wood. There are a few trees down he can chainsaw into pieces but not nearly enough for several weeks let alone a whole winter, especially if it is a long and/or cold one. I hate the thought of going to bed each night fully dressed with a hat and scarf on like I did last winter and showering and dressing in the bathroom which I have warmed up a bit with a space heater.
I am now off for three days, which happens every 4 weeks. Nick has himself locked downstairs in the computer room where he is listening to some Eurovision 2017 stuff I think. At least some of it is. I hear that song he plays over and over and over again.
Nick was looking for a stud finder this morning. He told me it was missing about 5 minutes before I had to leave for work. I took a quick look around but all I managed to find was a motion detector he had hidden in the gym. I must admit I really thought I had found what he was looking for. He pretended that he was going to do some work on the house but couldn't now he didn't have what he needed. Such a crock of shit.
Monday, 21 August 2017
Monday, August 21, 2017
Monday, August 21, 2017
The tractor is gone. I can see the tire marks in the driveway where it was driven up onto a ramp, the marks where the ramp was sitting are there too. Nick says it was taken by the dealership we purchased it from for an update, but I will call them tomorrow from work to see if that is the truth.
I got up this morning and cut the grass. I had to go into work to meet with one of our clients, and then I came right back home again. Rather a pain to make the hour drive for a 30-minute meeting, but it had to be done. It is a hot and muggy day today. I thought I would tidy up the yard when I got home but the mosquitos were so hungry all I did was water some of my potted plants and then I came inside to catch up on this. The last few nights I have tried to make entries, I haven't been able to connect to the internet. I am thinking that Nick has been turning the router off when he is finished on the computer. Just to annoy me. He claims that someone else is using our internet besides he and I and that they somehow have our password. I don't even know the password.
Nick bought a couple of T-shirts with MOSSAD on them. 'The Institute for Intelligence and Special Operations'. He also has one with 'Israel Defense Forces' on it. The other day I noticed he had bought two green and yellow flags and hung them up in the gym room. I tried to find out what the flags represent, but I couldn't find anything on the internet. Now I see that the Israel Defence Forces colors are green and yellow. When I asked him Nick told me that they were Ukraine flags he got for a friend of his, but they are not Ukraine flags according to Wikipedia. I know Nick is crazy, but has he become radicalized as well?
I will make note of something amusing before I close for the day. Nick has taken a sharpie and made a mark resembling a 'y' on each of the three eggs he collected from our hens this morning. A silver sharpie at that. Very special eggs I guess.
He is downstairs now on his computer, listening to the same Eurovision songs over and over again. The same one or two he always listens to. I googled 'freedom is our religion' which is what is on a building in the background of the picture of Nick and his Ukrainian girlfriend, and apparently this is in Kiev and is in connection with this Eurovision song contest which was held in Kiev in May. Before Nick made his trip over there. I guess this explains in a small way his addiction and fascination to these songs he listens to incessantly. A couple of them are great songs, but I for one am getting tired of hearing them.
The tractor is gone. I can see the tire marks in the driveway where it was driven up onto a ramp, the marks where the ramp was sitting are there too. Nick says it was taken by the dealership we purchased it from for an update, but I will call them tomorrow from work to see if that is the truth.
I got up this morning and cut the grass. I had to go into work to meet with one of our clients, and then I came right back home again. Rather a pain to make the hour drive for a 30-minute meeting, but it had to be done. It is a hot and muggy day today. I thought I would tidy up the yard when I got home but the mosquitos were so hungry all I did was water some of my potted plants and then I came inside to catch up on this. The last few nights I have tried to make entries, I haven't been able to connect to the internet. I am thinking that Nick has been turning the router off when he is finished on the computer. Just to annoy me. He claims that someone else is using our internet besides he and I and that they somehow have our password. I don't even know the password.
Nick bought a couple of T-shirts with MOSSAD on them. 'The Institute for Intelligence and Special Operations'. He also has one with 'Israel Defense Forces' on it. The other day I noticed he had bought two green and yellow flags and hung them up in the gym room. I tried to find out what the flags represent, but I couldn't find anything on the internet. Now I see that the Israel Defence Forces colors are green and yellow. When I asked him Nick told me that they were Ukraine flags he got for a friend of his, but they are not Ukraine flags according to Wikipedia. I know Nick is crazy, but has he become radicalized as well?
I will make note of something amusing before I close for the day. Nick has taken a sharpie and made a mark resembling a 'y' on each of the three eggs he collected from our hens this morning. A silver sharpie at that. Very special eggs I guess.
He is downstairs now on his computer, listening to the same Eurovision songs over and over again. The same one or two he always listens to. I googled 'freedom is our religion' which is what is on a building in the background of the picture of Nick and his Ukrainian girlfriend, and apparently this is in Kiev and is in connection with this Eurovision song contest which was held in Kiev in May. Before Nick made his trip over there. I guess this explains in a small way his addiction and fascination to these songs he listens to incessantly. A couple of them are great songs, but I for one am getting tired of hearing them.
Friday, August 18, 2017
Friday, August 18, 2017
On Monday morning I got a call from the real estate agent letting me know that someone wanted to see the house the next day between 10:30 and 11:30am. I flew into high gear and cleaned windows and deck doors and basement stairs, toilets and bathtubs, vacuumed and mopped floors - I went steady until about 11pm when I decided that whatever was done was all that was going to be done. Besides the few things I would do in the morning before I left for work, I was finished. I planned to turn on the lights and the scented plug-ins and check the cat's litter box for fresh/stinky deposits. I had nagged Nick about tidying up the computer room as well as his bedroom, particularly the blood spots on the carpet, and he promised me it would all be done 'if he had to stay up all night'. I asked if I would be able to go into the computer room and clean it up but he refused to let me in there. All I was permitted to do was to open the windows.
Nick did agree to take the dogs away in the car at the time the showing was scheduled. I went off to work in the morning and anxiously waited for the report from the agent. The first showing is always exhilarating, but after a few with no offers, the temporary high becomes stifled.
About 30 minutes after the time the showing was scheduled to begin, I got a message from the agent saying that the clients had been so put off by the broken down fences and general clutter in the yard that they decided they didn't want to see inside the house. Their impression was that 'the owners didn't care about the property'. I forwarded the message to Nick just as it had been sent to me.
He was upstairs reading in his room when I got home, and I had decided not to start a fight with him about it anyway. I was way too tired. I just wanted to go to bed. We said little the next morning as I left for work. I didn't feel like fighting before work either.
I was off the next day, Thursday, and I had made an appointment to take my dog Sam to have his nails clipped. Nick had been doing it for years but he said his clippers had disappeared. My dog Sam is 10 now and he has slipped or fallen down the hardwood stairs while coming and going from my bedroom over the last few weeks. He hasn't been eating well either. I thought having his nails cut might make it easier for him. It is such a pitiful sight to see him fall down the stairs.
Sam and I had a nice adventure together that morning. he had his nails cut, which he is always very good for, and we went to the post office and to the bakery as well. We shared a couple of tea biscuits on the way back home. I used to never give him human food but since he doesn't seem much interested in his dog food anymore, I have started giving him scraps hoping he will gain back a bit of weight.
When we got home and I announced we had successfully had nails clipped, Nick asked me why I had taken him anywhere instead of asking him to do it. I told him I thought the clippers had gone missing to which he replied that 'they had re-appeared again'. I had told him I thought they ere in the computer room and obviously that is where he found them. Oh well, Sam and I had had a great time together that we would have otherwise missed.
I started to feel rather lousy, and decided to lay down for awhile, something I never do during the day. I think I was just exhausted, mentally and physically, from the past several days. I slept right through until the next morning. I got once or twice to use the bathroom, but that was it.
On Monday morning I got a call from the real estate agent letting me know that someone wanted to see the house the next day between 10:30 and 11:30am. I flew into high gear and cleaned windows and deck doors and basement stairs, toilets and bathtubs, vacuumed and mopped floors - I went steady until about 11pm when I decided that whatever was done was all that was going to be done. Besides the few things I would do in the morning before I left for work, I was finished. I planned to turn on the lights and the scented plug-ins and check the cat's litter box for fresh/stinky deposits. I had nagged Nick about tidying up the computer room as well as his bedroom, particularly the blood spots on the carpet, and he promised me it would all be done 'if he had to stay up all night'. I asked if I would be able to go into the computer room and clean it up but he refused to let me in there. All I was permitted to do was to open the windows.
Nick did agree to take the dogs away in the car at the time the showing was scheduled. I went off to work in the morning and anxiously waited for the report from the agent. The first showing is always exhilarating, but after a few with no offers, the temporary high becomes stifled.
About 30 minutes after the time the showing was scheduled to begin, I got a message from the agent saying that the clients had been so put off by the broken down fences and general clutter in the yard that they decided they didn't want to see inside the house. Their impression was that 'the owners didn't care about the property'. I forwarded the message to Nick just as it had been sent to me.
He was upstairs reading in his room when I got home, and I had decided not to start a fight with him about it anyway. I was way too tired. I just wanted to go to bed. We said little the next morning as I left for work. I didn't feel like fighting before work either.
I was off the next day, Thursday, and I had made an appointment to take my dog Sam to have his nails clipped. Nick had been doing it for years but he said his clippers had disappeared. My dog Sam is 10 now and he has slipped or fallen down the hardwood stairs while coming and going from my bedroom over the last few weeks. He hasn't been eating well either. I thought having his nails cut might make it easier for him. It is such a pitiful sight to see him fall down the stairs.
Sam and I had a nice adventure together that morning. he had his nails cut, which he is always very good for, and we went to the post office and to the bakery as well. We shared a couple of tea biscuits on the way back home. I used to never give him human food but since he doesn't seem much interested in his dog food anymore, I have started giving him scraps hoping he will gain back a bit of weight.
When we got home and I announced we had successfully had nails clipped, Nick asked me why I had taken him anywhere instead of asking him to do it. I told him I thought the clippers had gone missing to which he replied that 'they had re-appeared again'. I had told him I thought they ere in the computer room and obviously that is where he found them. Oh well, Sam and I had had a great time together that we would have otherwise missed.
I started to feel rather lousy, and decided to lay down for awhile, something I never do during the day. I think I was just exhausted, mentally and physically, from the past several days. I slept right through until the next morning. I got once or twice to use the bathroom, but that was it.
Sunday, 13 August 2017
Sunday, August 13, 2017
Sunday, August 13, 2017
I spent the day cleaning up the second living room we have in the house. Nick has his gym set up in there, so it is a room that is hardly used, although it is a lovely space. It has a wall to ceiling stone fireplace and the room has cathedral ceilings with wooden beams. One side is all windows and there is a staircase leading up to the bedrooms on the second floor. It took me most of the day, but I am very pleased with it and I actually wish I had done it a long time ago. I just have the windows to clean and perhaps I will do that tomorrow.
Nick was away most of the day, I assume he was visiting his daughter but he may have been with a German friend of his who we usually get together with this time of year when he is here for the summer. Nick took a phone call from this fellow this morning while I was still sleeping which woke me up for the day. Nick had woken me up sometime after midnight and also very early but I had gone back to sleep after those interruptions. I wish he would stop banging things around. I don't say anything to him because I figure he is doing it to make my life miserable and I refuse to give him the satisfaction of knowing he is doing an excellent job.
I was wondering today as I was working to get the house presentable for showing if Nick got any pleasure out of watching me slave away while he does absolutely nothing. If he does anything, it is to mess things up around here so that I have to spend time just breaking even rather than being able to make progress on the long to-do list. He came in this evening and proceeded to make espresso and he managed to get the coffee grounds all over the floor. Maybe about half made it into the garbage can.
He is downstairs now swearing to himself and banging stuff around. I was just thinking I was hungry and feeling like a snack but I don't know if I am feeling brave enough to venture down to the kitchen.
At any rate I need to top up my wine so I guess I will put my cell phone on voice recorder and head on down.
On second thought, maybe I won't. He is really in a rage. I wonder what might have happened to put him in such a foul mood. Best to keep my mouth shut and my ears open.
I spent the day cleaning up the second living room we have in the house. Nick has his gym set up in there, so it is a room that is hardly used, although it is a lovely space. It has a wall to ceiling stone fireplace and the room has cathedral ceilings with wooden beams. One side is all windows and there is a staircase leading up to the bedrooms on the second floor. It took me most of the day, but I am very pleased with it and I actually wish I had done it a long time ago. I just have the windows to clean and perhaps I will do that tomorrow.
Nick was away most of the day, I assume he was visiting his daughter but he may have been with a German friend of his who we usually get together with this time of year when he is here for the summer. Nick took a phone call from this fellow this morning while I was still sleeping which woke me up for the day. Nick had woken me up sometime after midnight and also very early but I had gone back to sleep after those interruptions. I wish he would stop banging things around. I don't say anything to him because I figure he is doing it to make my life miserable and I refuse to give him the satisfaction of knowing he is doing an excellent job.
I was wondering today as I was working to get the house presentable for showing if Nick got any pleasure out of watching me slave away while he does absolutely nothing. If he does anything, it is to mess things up around here so that I have to spend time just breaking even rather than being able to make progress on the long to-do list. He came in this evening and proceeded to make espresso and he managed to get the coffee grounds all over the floor. Maybe about half made it into the garbage can.
He is downstairs now swearing to himself and banging stuff around. I was just thinking I was hungry and feeling like a snack but I don't know if I am feeling brave enough to venture down to the kitchen.
At any rate I need to top up my wine so I guess I will put my cell phone on voice recorder and head on down.
On second thought, maybe I won't. He is really in a rage. I wonder what might have happened to put him in such a foul mood. Best to keep my mouth shut and my ears open.
Saturday, 12 August 2017
Saturday, August 12, 2017
Saturday, August 12, 2017
I was driving home from work tonight and I was thinking about promises Nick had made to me about paying me back for my providing the down payment on the farm etc. A family member or friend must think I am very stupid for agreeing to this financial arrangement ie me paying for everything. But Nick had told me that he would be able to match my down payment after he sold his house and that he would be working at his job for another 4, 5 or 6 years, or 'whatever it took' for him to pay down the mortgage on the farm so that his contribution was equal to mine. He said he would take over the mortgage and I could put all my earnings toward my retirement. As I now know, this was never his intention. he had other financial obligations which prevented him from having any disposable income, and when he sold his house, he received only $1,638 to compare to my $214,000 and as well he fell way short of matching my down payment of $90,000. And then he retired suddenly without paying down any of the mortgage. In fact, he walked into the bank one day and withdrew every penny we had paid on the mortgage and put this $31,000 on his VISA. Not exactly what was planned. Not honouring his verbal agreement. As I understand it, verbal agreements are supposed to be as binding as any other sort of agreement. Or not.
Nick also promised over and over that he would be 'working his ass off' to make improvements and clear the land etc etc and this would have increased the value of the property but instead he has done absolutely nothing and the property is in a sad state of disrepair. He won't let me get anyone out here to do anything as he says he will not permit anyone on the property, even to cut firewood or fix the fences. So what am I to do? Wait I guess, and fix up what I can. And hope that Nick decides to start a life with this Ukrainian woman and leaves me alone to pick up the pieces of mine. I wouldn't care so much if I were younger. It's not that I fell old, but my birth certificate tell me I will be 60 soon, and that most folks retire when they are 65. But I have to just about start over financially at this point. It's good thing I have never had any high expectations for my retirement years.
I was driving home from work tonight and I was thinking about promises Nick had made to me about paying me back for my providing the down payment on the farm etc. A family member or friend must think I am very stupid for agreeing to this financial arrangement ie me paying for everything. But Nick had told me that he would be able to match my down payment after he sold his house and that he would be working at his job for another 4, 5 or 6 years, or 'whatever it took' for him to pay down the mortgage on the farm so that his contribution was equal to mine. He said he would take over the mortgage and I could put all my earnings toward my retirement. As I now know, this was never his intention. he had other financial obligations which prevented him from having any disposable income, and when he sold his house, he received only $1,638 to compare to my $214,000 and as well he fell way short of matching my down payment of $90,000. And then he retired suddenly without paying down any of the mortgage. In fact, he walked into the bank one day and withdrew every penny we had paid on the mortgage and put this $31,000 on his VISA. Not exactly what was planned. Not honouring his verbal agreement. As I understand it, verbal agreements are supposed to be as binding as any other sort of agreement. Or not.
Nick also promised over and over that he would be 'working his ass off' to make improvements and clear the land etc etc and this would have increased the value of the property but instead he has done absolutely nothing and the property is in a sad state of disrepair. He won't let me get anyone out here to do anything as he says he will not permit anyone on the property, even to cut firewood or fix the fences. So what am I to do? Wait I guess, and fix up what I can. And hope that Nick decides to start a life with this Ukrainian woman and leaves me alone to pick up the pieces of mine. I wouldn't care so much if I were younger. It's not that I fell old, but my birth certificate tell me I will be 60 soon, and that most folks retire when they are 65. But I have to just about start over financially at this point. It's good thing I have never had any high expectations for my retirement years.
Friday, 11 August 2017
Friday, August 11, 2017
Friday, August 11, 2017
Another beautiful summer day. I did manage to locate Nick's previous wife on the internet (previous to me that is, I know about 2 others previous to this 3rd one - he has always led me to believe I was number 3). She still lives and works in the area and I intend to contact her somehow to find out what Nick's daughter actually did do to her, that was much worse than what she threatened to do to me. This is getting good now.
The most recent documents I found state that she is entitled to 9 years of his pension and also that he gave her a lump sum payment of spousal support in May of 2011 and also that he paid her a sum of money so he could retain sole ownership of the house he was living in. \which he led me to believe was his alone and also which he told me he would likely make a profit on when he sold it to move to the farm. Of course, he made nothing on it but somewhat less than two thousand dollars, after back taxes were paid. A far cry from the two hundred and fifteen thousand I received from my home. The hole just keeps getting deeper.
There was also a comment in the papers about the TD Bank being agreeable about the mortgage situation, which leads me to think it must have been in arrears. Nick's divorce from this woman was only final in May of 2011. I had no idea any of this was going on. He was also embroiled at the same time in a legal battle with the ex-wife who is the mother of the younger two of his four children; something about her claiming that the daughter had moved in with her and she wanted to be re-imbursed for expenses during this time and also for things she had purchased for her daughter. As far as I know, this decision went in Nick's favour and he didn't have to pay anything to anybody.
When I got home from work tonight Nick was locked in the computer room and the door to the house was locked and the porch light was out so I had trouble seeing to get my key in the lock. I don't know why he does this. It's not like I am so late getting home from work that he has reason to believe I am staying somewhere else. Like I ever do that. Like I only did that once, last weekend. And I texted him to let him know.
I noticed today as I did some on-line banking that Nick still has not taken his daughter off of the insurance policy that I pay for, which he promised to do when I told him I had discovered that I was paying insurance on a Saturn that I had no idea even existed. I feel I am being generous paying his car insurance just because it happens to be together with the house insurance, and I actually would like to cancel the insurance on both cars, but I am a fair person and I realize Nick is paying for my cell phone. Which I had decided not to get as I thought they wanted way too much for the phone, but which Nick went ahead and got anyway. I do suspect he did this so I would have the same phone as he did and he would be able to access it on the sly. But the way it has worked out, I don't think he has been in my phone where there is really nothing of interest anyway, but I have been able to look into his phone which I can look around in quite quickly because it is the same as mine.
I am going to mention one more thing for the record before I turn off my computer and catch some sleep. I may have mentioned this before, but I wanted to make a note of the fact that when the tractor and the attachments we had ordered were delivered, Nick called the salesman back to tell him that there was a piece missing. I seem to remember it was a piece that was needed in order to use the auger attachment. The tractor guys asked if Nick was sure he hadn't gotten it, because they had had to have it made separately for some reason, and they knew it had been made and they knew they didn't have it. Because Nick was a new customer and was getting an expensive tractor from them, they agreed to deliver a second one.
Almost a year later, Nick told me that he had found the original piece laying in the corner of the garage and admitted he felt embarrassed that he now had two. This tells me that he perhaps actually does believe that things are missing when in fact he just doesn't know where they are. But why make up a story about a guy named Salter coming into the house and stealing stuff. It seems like a lot of trouble to go to just to avoid saying you made a mistake.
So you say you screwed up. Everyone screws up. And if someone says they don't, then I think they must be lying. But why bother to lie, last time I checked making a mistake didn't mean the death penalty.
Another beautiful summer day. I did manage to locate Nick's previous wife on the internet (previous to me that is, I know about 2 others previous to this 3rd one - he has always led me to believe I was number 3). She still lives and works in the area and I intend to contact her somehow to find out what Nick's daughter actually did do to her, that was much worse than what she threatened to do to me. This is getting good now.
The most recent documents I found state that she is entitled to 9 years of his pension and also that he gave her a lump sum payment of spousal support in May of 2011 and also that he paid her a sum of money so he could retain sole ownership of the house he was living in. \which he led me to believe was his alone and also which he told me he would likely make a profit on when he sold it to move to the farm. Of course, he made nothing on it but somewhat less than two thousand dollars, after back taxes were paid. A far cry from the two hundred and fifteen thousand I received from my home. The hole just keeps getting deeper.
There was also a comment in the papers about the TD Bank being agreeable about the mortgage situation, which leads me to think it must have been in arrears. Nick's divorce from this woman was only final in May of 2011. I had no idea any of this was going on. He was also embroiled at the same time in a legal battle with the ex-wife who is the mother of the younger two of his four children; something about her claiming that the daughter had moved in with her and she wanted to be re-imbursed for expenses during this time and also for things she had purchased for her daughter. As far as I know, this decision went in Nick's favour and he didn't have to pay anything to anybody.
When I got home from work tonight Nick was locked in the computer room and the door to the house was locked and the porch light was out so I had trouble seeing to get my key in the lock. I don't know why he does this. It's not like I am so late getting home from work that he has reason to believe I am staying somewhere else. Like I ever do that. Like I only did that once, last weekend. And I texted him to let him know.
I noticed today as I did some on-line banking that Nick still has not taken his daughter off of the insurance policy that I pay for, which he promised to do when I told him I had discovered that I was paying insurance on a Saturn that I had no idea even existed. I feel I am being generous paying his car insurance just because it happens to be together with the house insurance, and I actually would like to cancel the insurance on both cars, but I am a fair person and I realize Nick is paying for my cell phone. Which I had decided not to get as I thought they wanted way too much for the phone, but which Nick went ahead and got anyway. I do suspect he did this so I would have the same phone as he did and he would be able to access it on the sly. But the way it has worked out, I don't think he has been in my phone where there is really nothing of interest anyway, but I have been able to look into his phone which I can look around in quite quickly because it is the same as mine.
I am going to mention one more thing for the record before I turn off my computer and catch some sleep. I may have mentioned this before, but I wanted to make a note of the fact that when the tractor and the attachments we had ordered were delivered, Nick called the salesman back to tell him that there was a piece missing. I seem to remember it was a piece that was needed in order to use the auger attachment. The tractor guys asked if Nick was sure he hadn't gotten it, because they had had to have it made separately for some reason, and they knew it had been made and they knew they didn't have it. Because Nick was a new customer and was getting an expensive tractor from them, they agreed to deliver a second one.
Almost a year later, Nick told me that he had found the original piece laying in the corner of the garage and admitted he felt embarrassed that he now had two. This tells me that he perhaps actually does believe that things are missing when in fact he just doesn't know where they are. But why make up a story about a guy named Salter coming into the house and stealing stuff. It seems like a lot of trouble to go to just to avoid saying you made a mistake.
So you say you screwed up. Everyone screws up. And if someone says they don't, then I think they must be lying. But why bother to lie, last time I checked making a mistake didn't mean the death penalty.
Thursday, 10 August 2017
Thursday, August 10, 2017
Thursday, August 10, 2017
A beautiful summer day. I slept in, as I usually do, as a result of Nick getting up at 430am and using the bathroom and flushing the toilet. That is something I was brought up not to do during the night, once it is agreed upon amongst members of a household. He never used to do it either, until a couple of months ago, because he knows it wakes me up. Actually, nearly everything wakes me up.
After using the bathroom, Nick will usually go downstairs to make a coffee or get a glass of water and then he will read for a an hour or two. As a result of the weather being so humid and warm, he and I have been sleeping with our bedroom doors open and so when he has the light on in his room, I keep waking up. And shortly after he quits reading and turns off the light to go back to sleep, my alarm goes off and I have to get up for the day. So on my days off, I roll over and go back to sleep until I am convinced I am well rested.
Nick and I took the lawn mower apart and I succeeded in finding the tools we needed to do this in impressive time. It was great, he described what it was I should be looking for and while he was still muttering that Salter had stolen them and they couldn't be found anywhere in the house, I would present them to him. Part of it was luck, I will admit, and part of it was because I have cleaned up the basement and the garage, so if I know what something looks like, I am getting pretty good at finding it now. If I knew my tools better, this would be even easier.
So I got the back yard done, and the second section of the front that I had started when the mower decided to quit. I also cut some of the grass by the riding arena - an area we used to keep cut but we have let grow over the last two years. I decided to cut it again to make the property look neater.
Then I had to go to meet up with the guy who bought my daughter's car, just over an hour's drive away. I was not looking forward to making this trip in the middle of my day, but I did a couple of errands on the way, and got home by 630pm. I vacuumed and started to take the skylight down to clean it, but I realized it was to large and awkward for me to do alone, and I decided to wait until my next day off to do it when I could get Nick to help me take it down. I cut myself some spinach and beet greens and green onions from the garden for lunch tomorrow at work. The first produce of 2017!
I have some cucumbers coming up and also some squash, along with corn and beans, and Nick has tomatoes that will be ready soon. We didn't plant nearly as much as we have in previous years, but we always seem to have way more than we manage to use or give away. It's so exciting and rewarding at first, but picking the produce turns into a chore by the end of the season.
When I was putting a wash in, I took another look through the court documents that concerned Nick's wife just previous to myself, the one to whom I have just learned he has been paying $500 a month support. I was looking to see if her former last name was mentioned anywhere and it was. I had googled her using the same last name as Nick because that is how she was referred to in the stuff I found initially and nothing came up in the searches I did, so I am hoping I will find something interesting now that I have another name to do a new search with. I will do it at work so it doesn't show in the history on my laptop. Of course if he reads my posts he will find out what I know but I am counting on that being like finding a needle in a haystack. Nick isn't very good at finding things.
He wasn't home when I got back from dealing with the car, and I had a nice evening with myself and my dog. As it began to get dark around 830pm, I decided to go out and bring the horses in and feed them and the calf. The horses kept running up to the gate each time they saw me outside and I knew it was past the time they usually come in for their grain and water and a small pile of hay for them to munch on. They are out in the pasture all day, so they really don't need much in the way of hay, but grain is a real treat for them. We mix it with some sweet feed, which has molasses in it, and it is the equivalent of candy for livestock. The horses also look forward to coming inside at night away from the flies that pester them all day.
Nick arrived home about 30 minutes ago, and I don't know if he checked to see if the horses were in and fed or not. He certainly didn't ask me, he went right into the computer room and started watching something on the computer. Speaking of the computer, I was looking in his notebook when he practises his Ukrainian, and he has phrases like ' I never touch her' and 'you are my only one' translated. I went into his bedroom to get the chair in there to try to reach the skylight and I noticed two T shirts on top of his suitcase that say 'MOSSAD' - the Institute of Intelligence and Special Operations. Is he trying to tell this lady that this is where he works?
A beautiful summer day. I slept in, as I usually do, as a result of Nick getting up at 430am and using the bathroom and flushing the toilet. That is something I was brought up not to do during the night, once it is agreed upon amongst members of a household. He never used to do it either, until a couple of months ago, because he knows it wakes me up. Actually, nearly everything wakes me up.
After using the bathroom, Nick will usually go downstairs to make a coffee or get a glass of water and then he will read for a an hour or two. As a result of the weather being so humid and warm, he and I have been sleeping with our bedroom doors open and so when he has the light on in his room, I keep waking up. And shortly after he quits reading and turns off the light to go back to sleep, my alarm goes off and I have to get up for the day. So on my days off, I roll over and go back to sleep until I am convinced I am well rested.
Nick and I took the lawn mower apart and I succeeded in finding the tools we needed to do this in impressive time. It was great, he described what it was I should be looking for and while he was still muttering that Salter had stolen them and they couldn't be found anywhere in the house, I would present them to him. Part of it was luck, I will admit, and part of it was because I have cleaned up the basement and the garage, so if I know what something looks like, I am getting pretty good at finding it now. If I knew my tools better, this would be even easier.
So I got the back yard done, and the second section of the front that I had started when the mower decided to quit. I also cut some of the grass by the riding arena - an area we used to keep cut but we have let grow over the last two years. I decided to cut it again to make the property look neater.
Then I had to go to meet up with the guy who bought my daughter's car, just over an hour's drive away. I was not looking forward to making this trip in the middle of my day, but I did a couple of errands on the way, and got home by 630pm. I vacuumed and started to take the skylight down to clean it, but I realized it was to large and awkward for me to do alone, and I decided to wait until my next day off to do it when I could get Nick to help me take it down. I cut myself some spinach and beet greens and green onions from the garden for lunch tomorrow at work. The first produce of 2017!
I have some cucumbers coming up and also some squash, along with corn and beans, and Nick has tomatoes that will be ready soon. We didn't plant nearly as much as we have in previous years, but we always seem to have way more than we manage to use or give away. It's so exciting and rewarding at first, but picking the produce turns into a chore by the end of the season.
When I was putting a wash in, I took another look through the court documents that concerned Nick's wife just previous to myself, the one to whom I have just learned he has been paying $500 a month support. I was looking to see if her former last name was mentioned anywhere and it was. I had googled her using the same last name as Nick because that is how she was referred to in the stuff I found initially and nothing came up in the searches I did, so I am hoping I will find something interesting now that I have another name to do a new search with. I will do it at work so it doesn't show in the history on my laptop. Of course if he reads my posts he will find out what I know but I am counting on that being like finding a needle in a haystack. Nick isn't very good at finding things.
He wasn't home when I got back from dealing with the car, and I had a nice evening with myself and my dog. As it began to get dark around 830pm, I decided to go out and bring the horses in and feed them and the calf. The horses kept running up to the gate each time they saw me outside and I knew it was past the time they usually come in for their grain and water and a small pile of hay for them to munch on. They are out in the pasture all day, so they really don't need much in the way of hay, but grain is a real treat for them. We mix it with some sweet feed, which has molasses in it, and it is the equivalent of candy for livestock. The horses also look forward to coming inside at night away from the flies that pester them all day.
Nick arrived home about 30 minutes ago, and I don't know if he checked to see if the horses were in and fed or not. He certainly didn't ask me, he went right into the computer room and started watching something on the computer. Speaking of the computer, I was looking in his notebook when he practises his Ukrainian, and he has phrases like ' I never touch her' and 'you are my only one' translated. I went into his bedroom to get the chair in there to try to reach the skylight and I noticed two T shirts on top of his suitcase that say 'MOSSAD' - the Institute of Intelligence and Special Operations. Is he trying to tell this lady that this is where he works?
Wednesday, 9 August 2017
Wednesday, August 9, 2017
Wednesday, August 9, 2017
I feel a mix of exhilaration and frustration as I type tonight. I am filled with hope about the great things I know are to come as I break free from this toxic relationship and gain control of my own life again but I feel frustrated that there are restraints on what I can and cannot accomplish in a day or a week. Take for example tomorrow....I need to cut the grass but the mower needs to be fixed and Nick hasn't bothered to look at it yet. I ran over a pile of dirt he had dumped on the front lawn while plowing last winter and because it has been so dry, it stopped the mower blade and I wasn't able to re-start the thing. That was Monday. Tomorrow is Thursday and the grass is getting long. I am not off again until Sunday and who knows what the weather will be like. And then I tell myself 'it's just grass!!!'. The guy I had sold my daughter's car to (the car whose transmission gave up the ghost) called me today and he would like me to pick up the payment for the car tomorrow when he gets off of work around 4pm, which is over an hour's drive from here for me. And over an hour's drive back again, obviously. My point is that this will seriously cut into any productivity I may be able to muster. I always look forward to my days off and how much I will get done. But it never works out that way. First of all, I sleep in too late. Getting up around 9 is pretty usual for me and anytime before that is early. I remember that I used to get annoyed that stores and things didn't open until 8 or 9am when I was younger, but all of that has changed now. I guess I just need more sleep. I would never have been up after 1030pm 10 years ago either. But here it is 11pm.
I have been listening to all of the voice recordings I have made with my cell phone of conversations between Nick and myself. More often than not, these are actually just recordings of him yelling at me as I try to interject some words of defense or to question the validity of the accusations. I came to the one recording of March 3 of this year, when I am asking Nick about the $31,000 he has withdrawn from our mortgage to pay off his credit card, and his daughter is here but I have just arrived home from work and I am so pissed about this (and I have known for over a week about it but I didn't confront Nick with it until I had verified with the bank) and so I inadvertently draw her into the argument because I am not willing to postpone the showdown until a more convenient time, a more convenient time for Nick that is.
I had listened to this recording a number of times and I was tempted not to listen to it one more time, but for some reason I decided to play it anyway. There is a part in the argument when Nick's daughter threatens me and Nick tells her to stop. She says no, she won't, that she is serious about her threats, and then she says to her father 'I have done much worse than that before - remember what I did to Jane?'. Well I heard that sentence before but I didn't know who Jane was, and actually I didn't even identify the name she was saying as Jane. I thought she was talking about a friend of hers who she had had a falling out with. But she was talking about Nick's previous 'wife' Jane, the one he was paying the $500 a month support payment to. That I had just found out about a few days ago.
Very interesting, eh? So now I have to find what she did to Jane. I would love to locate this person and speak with her. Maybe there was a report filed by Jane with the police, if the 'thing she did' was serious enough. I intend to find out.
I feel a mix of exhilaration and frustration as I type tonight. I am filled with hope about the great things I know are to come as I break free from this toxic relationship and gain control of my own life again but I feel frustrated that there are restraints on what I can and cannot accomplish in a day or a week. Take for example tomorrow....I need to cut the grass but the mower needs to be fixed and Nick hasn't bothered to look at it yet. I ran over a pile of dirt he had dumped on the front lawn while plowing last winter and because it has been so dry, it stopped the mower blade and I wasn't able to re-start the thing. That was Monday. Tomorrow is Thursday and the grass is getting long. I am not off again until Sunday and who knows what the weather will be like. And then I tell myself 'it's just grass!!!'. The guy I had sold my daughter's car to (the car whose transmission gave up the ghost) called me today and he would like me to pick up the payment for the car tomorrow when he gets off of work around 4pm, which is over an hour's drive from here for me. And over an hour's drive back again, obviously. My point is that this will seriously cut into any productivity I may be able to muster. I always look forward to my days off and how much I will get done. But it never works out that way. First of all, I sleep in too late. Getting up around 9 is pretty usual for me and anytime before that is early. I remember that I used to get annoyed that stores and things didn't open until 8 or 9am when I was younger, but all of that has changed now. I guess I just need more sleep. I would never have been up after 1030pm 10 years ago either. But here it is 11pm.
I have been listening to all of the voice recordings I have made with my cell phone of conversations between Nick and myself. More often than not, these are actually just recordings of him yelling at me as I try to interject some words of defense or to question the validity of the accusations. I came to the one recording of March 3 of this year, when I am asking Nick about the $31,000 he has withdrawn from our mortgage to pay off his credit card, and his daughter is here but I have just arrived home from work and I am so pissed about this (and I have known for over a week about it but I didn't confront Nick with it until I had verified with the bank) and so I inadvertently draw her into the argument because I am not willing to postpone the showdown until a more convenient time, a more convenient time for Nick that is.
I had listened to this recording a number of times and I was tempted not to listen to it one more time, but for some reason I decided to play it anyway. There is a part in the argument when Nick's daughter threatens me and Nick tells her to stop. She says no, she won't, that she is serious about her threats, and then she says to her father 'I have done much worse than that before - remember what I did to Jane?'. Well I heard that sentence before but I didn't know who Jane was, and actually I didn't even identify the name she was saying as Jane. I thought she was talking about a friend of hers who she had had a falling out with. But she was talking about Nick's previous 'wife' Jane, the one he was paying the $500 a month support payment to. That I had just found out about a few days ago.
Very interesting, eh? So now I have to find what she did to Jane. I would love to locate this person and speak with her. Maybe there was a report filed by Jane with the police, if the 'thing she did' was serious enough. I intend to find out.
Monday, 7 August 2017
Monday, August 7, 2017
Monday, August 7, 2017
I spent most of the weekend with my daughter and enjoyed a much needed rest from the charades all day every day and night with Nick. After work on Saturday she and I went to dinner at our favorite little spot and on Sunday I brought some pizza home with me. I got to watch some TV which is a treat for me as we no longer get cable at the farm. Monday I was off and because it was a holiday here, my daughter was as well and we planted the hydrangea and asters and lupines and hostas I had in pots for her.
I turned off my phone when I went to bed as I usually do and when I looked at it this morning, Nick had texted me 5 or 6 times demanding to know where his deodorants and his cologne were. The texts were sent at 5am! They had been in the cabinet in the ensuite bathroom which he took down to wallpaper but which he hasn't put back up yet. So when I tidied up the bedroom the other day, I put all that stuff in the main bathroom, in the closet. I showed him where I had put the stuff, along with his shaving gear and everything else that was in that cabinet.
I spent most of the weekend with my daughter and enjoyed a much needed rest from the charades all day every day and night with Nick. After work on Saturday she and I went to dinner at our favorite little spot and on Sunday I brought some pizza home with me. I got to watch some TV which is a treat for me as we no longer get cable at the farm. Monday I was off and because it was a holiday here, my daughter was as well and we planted the hydrangea and asters and lupines and hostas I had in pots for her.
I turned off my phone when I went to bed as I usually do and when I looked at it this morning, Nick had texted me 5 or 6 times demanding to know where his deodorants and his cologne were. The texts were sent at 5am! They had been in the cabinet in the ensuite bathroom which he took down to wallpaper but which he hasn't put back up yet. So when I tidied up the bedroom the other day, I put all that stuff in the main bathroom, in the closet. I showed him where I had put the stuff, along with his shaving gear and everything else that was in that cabinet.
When I got home this evening it was indeed obvious that he had gone through every drawer in the house. At 5am in the morning. He had pulled out all the drawers of his dresser and night table and had left the contents all over the bed and had left most of the drawers out on the chairs as well as on the bed and the ones that were still in the dresser were still halfway open with the stuff spilling out of them.
Nick also threw a tantrum tonight as he was unloading the dishwasher. He was taking the silverware out of its tray and something was caught, so he banged the whole thing 3 or 4 times against the counter. I was very surprised that nothing was smashed. He was so violent it about it I just stood there and held my breath.
I vacuumed and mopped the floors and generally tidied the place up...cleaned the bathrooms and wiped the stove and fridge and kitchen counters and table, and dusted in the bedrooms and hallway.
Nick was in a terrible mood, he just banged things around all night and slammed the door to his bedroom a couple of times. I showed him where his toiletries had been all along and I don't think he was too pleased about the simplicity of the whole episode. Just like the other day when he couldn't find the roofing sealant. He just hadn't looked in the place he had put it. He texted me that it had 'magically re-appeared'. His words exactly.
Friday, 4 August 2017
Friday, August 4, 2017
Friday, August 4, 2017
Just a short post tonight. I worked all day and I am feeling tired. I was off yesterday and didn't get as much accomplished as I had hoped. I got up at a decent hour - which for me is about 9am - and then I tidied up my bedroom and put absolutely everything away so it is rather immaculate, if I may say so myself - and after that I tried to get up the energy to go out and cut the grass. I plan to go to my daughter's tomorrow night after work and then go to work from there Sunday morning and stay again Sunday night and for my day off Monday, so I figured I should get the grass done as the next chance I had might not be until next Thursday, unless I planned to get back from my daughter's early enough on Monday to do it then. I ended up discussing a few things with Nick which included my other daughter's car that had been towed to his buddy's place and which one of his employees had offered to buy from me. About four months ago. So Nick made a call and it turned out that the transmission he had bought was not the right one and the guy had had to buy another one out of pocket as the company who sold Nick the original one had refused to take it back. So Nick will take the original back and get a refund and I will pay the guy for the one he had to buy and then he can pay me the negotiated price.
The company I had rented the dumpster from had not picked up the bbq and tvs I had left beside it. They had picked up the dumpster and I had paid them for it but they had promised to take the other stuff because I had asked specifically about it at the beginning. I sent the guy an email, but after 4 days I had no reply. Nick had been the one who had carried the tvs outside and wasn't happy with the idea of bringing them back into the basement, so he called the guy and they were picked up within about 3 or 4 hours. At least they are gone.
So I went out to cut the grass and I was more than half-way through and I was mowing over a pile of gravel Nick had left behind with the tractor while moving snow and the lawn mower ground to a stop and Nick discovered the belt needed to be replaced when he looked at it after it refused to start back up for me. I decided to get the whipper snipper out. Which took me about half an hour to get the plastic cord put on properly and I was only able to work for about 20 minutes before it became all tangled. I re-wound it and cut a bit more but when it frigged up for the second time I called it a day with doing the lawn. I was covered with bits of grass and weeds, and it was hot and humid and everything was sticking to everything else. I tried to clean myself up with a facecloth and towel but ended up jumping into the shower instead.
I started cleaning out the 2nd living room which we have only used as a gym which is a sin because it is a beautiful room with a floor to ceiling fireplace and the entire room is 2 stories high, with wooden beams in the ceiling. I have been busy at work because two main staff are off on holidays and although I am totally enjoying the results of cleaning and tidying the entire house, it is starting to take its toll I guess. I had a terrible time digging up the energy to do stuff on Thursday. I did spend some time working in the garden and doing some weeding which always relaxes and invigorates me. Just to see things growing makes me happy. And the garden is such a rewarding place in the middle of the summer.
Nick has been pestering me that he can't find his gun paperwork - his permits and course information. I did see it when I was sorting through things, so when I was downstairs putting a wash in, I decided to look through a box of papers I had set aside for him to go through. I actually had set aside 6 or 7 boxes for him to sort through, but all of them still sit there, untouched. Anyway, as I was looking for the gun stuff, I ran across a court document in which Nick is ordered to pay the girlfriend before me $500 per month and to maintain her on his drug plan from his work for as long as she is eligible. I knew he had been in a relationship with this woman before me but I had no idea he was still supporting her. He led me to believe she was just a previous girlfriend and although he has never called her by name, I know who she is because her name came up when he was adding me onto a Costco membership and my name was replacing hers - the cashier making the change asked if her name was being removed. It makes me wonder who else he may be supporting. It also explains where some of his monthly income is disappearing.
He doesn't know that I know and I am going to keep it that way. I will keep that information as ammunition if and when the financial disclosure ever appears. At least now I have a better idea of what should be divulged.
Nick was attempting to re-seal the barn roof yesterday and he was yelling at me because he couldn't find the second tub of sealant he had bought. He texted me at work today to tell me he wasn't going to finish the roof and it could just leak, because the sealant had been stolen by Salter. I knew it hadn't been stolen of course, and I knew it had to be in the barn somewhere because I knew it wasn't in the garage or the basement. He texted me around supper time to tell me 'it had magically appeared in the storage room in the barn'. Too late for him to finish the roof today, unfortunately. And tomorrow being his Sabbath, it won't get dome tomorrow either. Maybe it will be done by the time I return home from my daughter's. But I won't cross my fingers or hold my breath.
Just a short post tonight. I worked all day and I am feeling tired. I was off yesterday and didn't get as much accomplished as I had hoped. I got up at a decent hour - which for me is about 9am - and then I tidied up my bedroom and put absolutely everything away so it is rather immaculate, if I may say so myself - and after that I tried to get up the energy to go out and cut the grass. I plan to go to my daughter's tomorrow night after work and then go to work from there Sunday morning and stay again Sunday night and for my day off Monday, so I figured I should get the grass done as the next chance I had might not be until next Thursday, unless I planned to get back from my daughter's early enough on Monday to do it then. I ended up discussing a few things with Nick which included my other daughter's car that had been towed to his buddy's place and which one of his employees had offered to buy from me. About four months ago. So Nick made a call and it turned out that the transmission he had bought was not the right one and the guy had had to buy another one out of pocket as the company who sold Nick the original one had refused to take it back. So Nick will take the original back and get a refund and I will pay the guy for the one he had to buy and then he can pay me the negotiated price.
The company I had rented the dumpster from had not picked up the bbq and tvs I had left beside it. They had picked up the dumpster and I had paid them for it but they had promised to take the other stuff because I had asked specifically about it at the beginning. I sent the guy an email, but after 4 days I had no reply. Nick had been the one who had carried the tvs outside and wasn't happy with the idea of bringing them back into the basement, so he called the guy and they were picked up within about 3 or 4 hours. At least they are gone.
So I went out to cut the grass and I was more than half-way through and I was mowing over a pile of gravel Nick had left behind with the tractor while moving snow and the lawn mower ground to a stop and Nick discovered the belt needed to be replaced when he looked at it after it refused to start back up for me. I decided to get the whipper snipper out. Which took me about half an hour to get the plastic cord put on properly and I was only able to work for about 20 minutes before it became all tangled. I re-wound it and cut a bit more but when it frigged up for the second time I called it a day with doing the lawn. I was covered with bits of grass and weeds, and it was hot and humid and everything was sticking to everything else. I tried to clean myself up with a facecloth and towel but ended up jumping into the shower instead.
I started cleaning out the 2nd living room which we have only used as a gym which is a sin because it is a beautiful room with a floor to ceiling fireplace and the entire room is 2 stories high, with wooden beams in the ceiling. I have been busy at work because two main staff are off on holidays and although I am totally enjoying the results of cleaning and tidying the entire house, it is starting to take its toll I guess. I had a terrible time digging up the energy to do stuff on Thursday. I did spend some time working in the garden and doing some weeding which always relaxes and invigorates me. Just to see things growing makes me happy. And the garden is such a rewarding place in the middle of the summer.
Nick has been pestering me that he can't find his gun paperwork - his permits and course information. I did see it when I was sorting through things, so when I was downstairs putting a wash in, I decided to look through a box of papers I had set aside for him to go through. I actually had set aside 6 or 7 boxes for him to sort through, but all of them still sit there, untouched. Anyway, as I was looking for the gun stuff, I ran across a court document in which Nick is ordered to pay the girlfriend before me $500 per month and to maintain her on his drug plan from his work for as long as she is eligible. I knew he had been in a relationship with this woman before me but I had no idea he was still supporting her. He led me to believe she was just a previous girlfriend and although he has never called her by name, I know who she is because her name came up when he was adding me onto a Costco membership and my name was replacing hers - the cashier making the change asked if her name was being removed. It makes me wonder who else he may be supporting. It also explains where some of his monthly income is disappearing.
He doesn't know that I know and I am going to keep it that way. I will keep that information as ammunition if and when the financial disclosure ever appears. At least now I have a better idea of what should be divulged.
Nick was attempting to re-seal the barn roof yesterday and he was yelling at me because he couldn't find the second tub of sealant he had bought. He texted me at work today to tell me he wasn't going to finish the roof and it could just leak, because the sealant had been stolen by Salter. I knew it hadn't been stolen of course, and I knew it had to be in the barn somewhere because I knew it wasn't in the garage or the basement. He texted me around supper time to tell me 'it had magically appeared in the storage room in the barn'. Too late for him to finish the roof today, unfortunately. And tomorrow being his Sabbath, it won't get dome tomorrow either. Maybe it will be done by the time I return home from my daughter's. But I won't cross my fingers or hold my breath.
Wednesday, 2 August 2017
Wednesday, August 2, 2017
Wednesday, August 2, 2017
It is 10:30pm and I am starting to calm down. I have finished a glass of wine and poured a second. I am off tomorrow.
I got home from work about an hour ago and Nick was out. I had asked him several times to make or dig up a key for the real estate agent to put in the lock box for showings but he didn't bother and so I had to give her my key when she came out to the farm to leave the box on the door. He also promised then to make me another key. Which he didn't. And I was reminded of that tonight when I realized I did not have a key to get into the house. I called Nick several times but I am sue he just looked at the number and muted the call, so I texted him and asked him where he was and he said he was on his way home. Which he always says - even if I am with him and we are no where close to where we are supposed to be, he will say we are almost there - so I know exactly what on his way means - absolutely nothing. I asked him where he was instead and he told me exit 2A which is about 35 minutes away. I was rather pissed.
I walked around the house and tried all the doors and some of the easiest windows to access, but all were locked. I knew I could get inside through the sliding deck door off my daughter's bedroom but this would entail putting a ladder up to the second floor verandah at the back of the house. I don't like climbing ladders but I had done a fair bit lately while painting the barn and I had also climbed up onto the roof of the barn the day before yesterday to take pictures of the leaky roof and the can of sealant that had been up there for two years now. So I felt I was probably capable of getting up and onto the deck between the two bedrooms.
I found the ladder up against the barn and I managed to get into the house. Then I put the ladder back where I found it so Nick wouldn't immediately know how I had broken in. I hear him downstairs now but he hasn't spoken to me yet. I have my cell phone ready to tape the conversation if it turns into an argument, which it usually does.
He is getting so paranoid lately. I mean, he has been for a long time but now he is telling me that someone is using our internet and that they somehow know our password. I don't even know the password so I don't know how I would be able to give it to someone. But Nick just keeps insisting that the internet company tells him that our connection is slow because someone else is logging on.
He puts a wooden block behind his rear car tire so he will know if someone has driven his car. He locks the door to the bedroom where the computer is so only he can get in there. I don't know the password to get into his computer anymore. And I can hear him down in the kitchen at the moment unlocking the cupboard where he keeps his turmeric and honey and olive oil and I'm not sure what else. Pretty valuable stuff I guess.
He took my old phonograph the other day and he said he did it so I would know how it feels like to have your belongings stolen. You know, if I were taking his stuff I could see that making sense, but just because he can't find something doesn't mean it is stolen. But in his mind, that is the logical explanation. If he can't find it then it must not be there. No chance he has left it lying around somewhere. Not like he left his chainsaw in the bucket of the tractor and forgot it there until he used the bucket again. I have to keep reminding myself that I can't reason with him. If he says something is so, then it has to be that way. Because he said so and he is always right.
The house is always such a mess. I try to keep it tidy but he is such a slob. The female dog is in heat and she is spotting everywhere. The carpet in Nick's room was quite gross with spots which I cleaned up but he has let her back in there and the carpet is filthy again. She has also been allowed on his bed and the sheets have a bunch of large blood stains on them. They are gross to look at if you know they are from a dog, but they are absolutely disgusting if you don't know that and think they are from a human. Because Nick never makes his bed, they are out in plain view of anyone who walks into the room. Of course I will wash the sheets and clean the carpet again, but I am going to wait until the dog is finished her cycle.
It is 10:30pm and I am starting to calm down. I have finished a glass of wine and poured a second. I am off tomorrow.
I got home from work about an hour ago and Nick was out. I had asked him several times to make or dig up a key for the real estate agent to put in the lock box for showings but he didn't bother and so I had to give her my key when she came out to the farm to leave the box on the door. He also promised then to make me another key. Which he didn't. And I was reminded of that tonight when I realized I did not have a key to get into the house. I called Nick several times but I am sue he just looked at the number and muted the call, so I texted him and asked him where he was and he said he was on his way home. Which he always says - even if I am with him and we are no where close to where we are supposed to be, he will say we are almost there - so I know exactly what on his way means - absolutely nothing. I asked him where he was instead and he told me exit 2A which is about 35 minutes away. I was rather pissed.
I walked around the house and tried all the doors and some of the easiest windows to access, but all were locked. I knew I could get inside through the sliding deck door off my daughter's bedroom but this would entail putting a ladder up to the second floor verandah at the back of the house. I don't like climbing ladders but I had done a fair bit lately while painting the barn and I had also climbed up onto the roof of the barn the day before yesterday to take pictures of the leaky roof and the can of sealant that had been up there for two years now. So I felt I was probably capable of getting up and onto the deck between the two bedrooms.
I found the ladder up against the barn and I managed to get into the house. Then I put the ladder back where I found it so Nick wouldn't immediately know how I had broken in. I hear him downstairs now but he hasn't spoken to me yet. I have my cell phone ready to tape the conversation if it turns into an argument, which it usually does.
He is getting so paranoid lately. I mean, he has been for a long time but now he is telling me that someone is using our internet and that they somehow know our password. I don't even know the password so I don't know how I would be able to give it to someone. But Nick just keeps insisting that the internet company tells him that our connection is slow because someone else is logging on.
He puts a wooden block behind his rear car tire so he will know if someone has driven his car. He locks the door to the bedroom where the computer is so only he can get in there. I don't know the password to get into his computer anymore. And I can hear him down in the kitchen at the moment unlocking the cupboard where he keeps his turmeric and honey and olive oil and I'm not sure what else. Pretty valuable stuff I guess.
He took my old phonograph the other day and he said he did it so I would know how it feels like to have your belongings stolen. You know, if I were taking his stuff I could see that making sense, but just because he can't find something doesn't mean it is stolen. But in his mind, that is the logical explanation. If he can't find it then it must not be there. No chance he has left it lying around somewhere. Not like he left his chainsaw in the bucket of the tractor and forgot it there until he used the bucket again. I have to keep reminding myself that I can't reason with him. If he says something is so, then it has to be that way. Because he said so and he is always right.
The house is always such a mess. I try to keep it tidy but he is such a slob. The female dog is in heat and she is spotting everywhere. The carpet in Nick's room was quite gross with spots which I cleaned up but he has let her back in there and the carpet is filthy again. She has also been allowed on his bed and the sheets have a bunch of large blood stains on them. They are gross to look at if you know they are from a dog, but they are absolutely disgusting if you don't know that and think they are from a human. Because Nick never makes his bed, they are out in plain view of anyone who walks into the room. Of course I will wash the sheets and clean the carpet again, but I am going to wait until the dog is finished her cycle.
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